tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49813673490007967882024-03-23T10:57:25.497-07:00Put the FUN in dysFUNctionalWelcome to My Life of Organized Chaos
Where Crazy Eventually Catches up to you!Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.comBlogger124125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-25206615033243580482008-05-14T07:01:00.001-07:002008-05-14T07:47:54.260-07:00Sticks and StonesThe <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">internet</span> is a tricky thing.<br /><br />You make "friends" with people.<br /><br />You get some real idiots that can argue with you, say mean things that leave a mark or just make your life miserable by stalking you.<br /><br />Like most recently I was scouring a certain "list" for things to pick up around the house. You know for a deal? Like an <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">internet</span> garage sale.<br /><br />Things I was looking for:<br /><br />Used Cedar Swing Set for Casey<br />Used Patio Furniture <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cuz</span> we need a 2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">nd</span> table and chairs for all the entertaining we do<br />Pub Table for our kitchen we literally never eat in but would look good with a much smaller table<br />Poker Table<br /><br />So I find a pub and poker table on the same listing. I emailed the person asking for pics of the pub table because I want a square one. This person emailed me back pics with a round one and a poker table used a few times in the original box. This person lists <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">OBO</span>.<br /><br />In the spirit of BEST OFFER, I did a little research on the poker table. Found the exact same one on a local sporting good store and Target for $99.<br /><br />So I emailed the person and said "Sorry, I was hoping the pub table was square not round but I'd like to offer you $50 for the poker table."<br /><br />The email back to me "I was hoping for $100 on the poker table."<br /><br />I emailed back and said "Thank you but I'm not interested. I can buy that table new in the store for $100. Thanks anyway for your time."<br /><br />Email comes back "Really? The box says $200 but I won't argue with you about it." <em>Really cuz that's what it seems like you're doing trying to justify your nasty crabby self.</em><br /><br />My better judgement should have stopped me right here. But I wanted the guy/girl whatever to know I wasn't lying. So I emailed back "Yep. Target and Sports Authority both have it online for $99"<br /><br />The email response to that.<br /><br />"Then go get one. Tired of these <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Craigslist</span> Deadbeat FUCKS"<br /><br />DUDE----If I was trying to surprise my husband with a poker table as a "little surprise"--- I'm trying to get a BARGAIN...hence what the list is for....people looking to sell shit they don't want locally without <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ebay</span> or having to set up for an actual garage sale.....why would I spend the same amount of money on your USED one that I could get in the store for the SAME price.???<br /><br />Insert staring emoticon face here.<br /><br />I mean I'm not looking to strike a goldmine here and find a NEW $400 retail patio set for $100. I'm looking to find a slightly used $400 retail patio set for $100. If I just wanted to drop $100 I'd go to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Walmart</span> and buy their slightly crappier craftsmanship 5 piece set for $99. I'm looking for a deal. Someone sick of their patio furniture. Someone moving and not wanting to move perfectly good patio furniture. I'm not looking to score a $500 brand new for $75.<br /><br />Nor am I expecting to find a $2,000 Rainbow cedar swing set for $200. I'm finding slightly used sets that were that much when they were originally bought and are now 3-4 years old for around $400-$500 sometimes $600. And we're trying to decide if we are going to spend that much.<br /><br />Your stupid $100 DEADBEAT FUCK comment over a poker table.... that takes a special kind of idiot.<br /><br />Sticks and stones....Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-69096481351845268182008-05-12T05:18:00.003-07:002008-05-12T05:44:45.739-07:00Sanity Is a LuxuryMy world has been a crazy place this last year.<br /><br />This last week I've realized all the little things I missed. All the little things I took for granted before I got sick.<br /><br />Things like taking my daughter to play group and having her get so excited to see me when I pick her up like she hasn't seen me in days.<br /><br />Things like taking her for a "birthday meal" (because she hears me saying HAPPY meal at her favorite golden arches) and then taking her to feed the ducks at the river.<br /><br />Things like snuggling for the afternoon because it's just her and I.<br /><br />Things like watching my son pitch a baseball game. Seeing him up there on the mound...just amazes me. THAT is MY son and he's kicking ass and taking names up there. <br /><br />Things like phone calls from my Dad telling me he's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ok</span>. He had an infection. No sign of cancer. He's OK. <br /><br />Things like my sister calling to tell me that her pathology results came back clean. No sign of cancer from tissue taken out under her armpit.<br /><br />All these things are good.<br />All these things are amazing.<br /><br />When all these things happen on the SAME Friday; it's a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">GOOOOD</span> day.Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-38429278741313468082008-05-05T05:35:00.000-07:002008-05-05T05:42:03.460-07:00Borrowed TimeOnce cancer has touched your family everything is different.<br /><br />Simple flu "bugs" seem monumental.<br /><br />Colds that hang on too long become worrisome.<br /><br />Once cancer has touched your life you seem to be in constant limbo.<br /><br />Waiting for that other shoe to fall.<br /><br />Remission is a tricky place. Grateful for it to be gone but constantly looking over your shoulder waiting for the day it might catch up to you again.<br /><br />For me, that day seemed to be Friday night again.<br /><br />I was standing in Linens N' Things when my cell phone rang.<br /><br />It was my Dad telling me he's being admitted to the hospital. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Whhhhhhatttt</span>? Why?<br /><br />It seems he's been unable to keep anything down since Tuesday (which I knew he wasn't feeling well) but he's had it coming out of both ends since Wed and his doctor is concerned.<br /><br />In 1990 at the age of 38 he was diagnosed with colon cancer. He fought it and beat it.<br /><br />Since then; every cold, every flu, every ache and pain....haunts you.<br /><br />He's had a battery of tests run and we're supposed to find out today what's up.<br /><br />The statistic that's not good? When you beat colon cancer.....cancer usually comes back later somewhere else.<br /><br />1990 until now..feels like borrowed time. <br /><br />So now..we wait....Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-81194165945514545822008-04-28T14:05:00.000-07:002008-04-30T04:43:13.928-07:00In the Land of MenIn the Land of Men<br /><br /><ul><br /><li>Remembering to put the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">toliet</span> paper roll on should make up for forgetting to clean out his closet of dry cleaner wrappers for WEEKS on end. (HELLO we have a toddler in the house! PLASTIC IS BAD!)</li></ul><br /><p></p><br /><ul><br /><li>Merely getting his late night dinner dishes from the living room to the kitchen counter should be enough for me. It doesn't matter that I left a note 3 inches away that read "Please start the dishwasher after you load your dinner dishes."</li></ul><br /><p></p><br /><ul><br /><li>When I ask for you to start some of the things on my to-do list while I'm at work...<strong><em><u>READING</u></em></strong> the list.... does. not. count.</li></ul><br /><p></p><br /><ul><br /><li>Pretending that you aren't capable of combing our daughter's hair will not get you out of continuing to try to learn and saying to me "You're better at it than I am." will not be enough flattery to absolve you. Believe me.</li></ul><br /><p></p><br /><ul><br /><li>Taking my car to run errands and then coming home to tell me "Your gas light came on" when you have to pass 2 different gas stations to pull into our subdivision..might just get you stabbed in the eye.</li></ul><br /><p></p><br /><ul><br /><li>Lastly, when I'm showering DO not think it's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ok</span> to simply walk in and take a piss claiming "I just wanted to be close to you."</li></ul>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-52331739119027828482008-04-28T12:56:00.000-07:002008-04-28T13:06:46.798-07:00This is what happensThis is what happens when you don't update your "family" picture for 3 years. You get 2 more grandchildren. My nephew Gabriel and Casey weren't even born the last time we took this picture.<br /><br />This is how much your children grow up in a year when you don't update your blog.<br /><br />This is how much you realize that even though you're one big blended family across the board.; all those years of people telling you "You have a half brother and half sister" and your son being told he has a "half" sister....you're all family. ONE BIG NUTTY DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY!<br /><br />We decided to take new family pictures for my Mom for Mother's Day this year. Mostly cuz of the 2 newest additions but well none of us could think of any other kind of cool gift so this worked.<br /><br /><br /><br />Getting 11 people together for one picture..with 3 kids under the age of 5. Not so easy. I was less than impressed with the photographers...and this is what we ended up with.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMiYid3kXUge7X-WxSF7JgaAS4Pd9WlYz0MOvxX9DsfKwh7QAdJZWP2BkdIOKZG1qsorOKSyl2GAXwzq060GrGfOQ50xcX8bMlmzsPSCP7Axqa-E-cy6t9LFtg5IKZDhbqGExfv3wvmqV9/s1600-h/11+of+us.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5194388157129797650" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMiYid3kXUge7X-WxSF7JgaAS4Pd9WlYz0MOvxX9DsfKwh7QAdJZWP2BkdIOKZG1qsorOKSyl2GAXwzq060GrGfOQ50xcX8bMlmzsPSCP7Axqa-E-cy6t9LFtg5IKZDhbqGExfv3wvmqV9/s320/11+of+us.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />This is one Kelly and I decided to take for our Dad.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8ZkgPn_kNvYmHxdNxpyUs1GTWpDJNIA0pv7Mb6oNdFPoX4kVNPvfFSWkz7_oW3RB7n-RX_J8J2Ro0bwdO0ONB-0aKVuO4wTTvtBlBAmDlVN1F9tQa_SiTYA6v8K14G1wv0OrBbRBa3BlV/s1600-h/5+of+us.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5194388174309666850" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8ZkgPn_kNvYmHxdNxpyUs1GTWpDJNIA0pv7Mb6oNdFPoX4kVNPvfFSWkz7_oW3RB7n-RX_J8J2Ro0bwdO0ONB-0aKVuO4wTTvtBlBAmDlVN1F9tQa_SiTYA6v8K14G1wv0OrBbRBa3BlV/s320/5+of+us.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />And this one is our very first professional family picture since Casey was born. In almost 3 years we've never done it. I think we should start doing this more often.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBxR8aHZvmlfHc2rWBbCo8EE_B9OiHo9wmTACJeYCI4_hsShpHKsiEi1qOy8IhlBn5dRQHzBn2zGF1uCoZe1zoFebJYJ4VP1Mo9_q3MEisPJ_i-BVa6NrnFuAI5OZccot06vocI-SDey5P/s1600-h/4+of+us.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5194388182899601458" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBxR8aHZvmlfHc2rWBbCo8EE_B9OiHo9wmTACJeYCI4_hsShpHKsiEi1qOy8IhlBn5dRQHzBn2zGF1uCoZe1zoFebJYJ4VP1Mo9_q3MEisPJ_i-BVa6NrnFuAI5OZccot06vocI-SDey5P/s320/4+of+us.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Notice the toy in her hand. She REFUSED to give it up and ya know what???? I don't care.Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-88577719501944484142008-04-25T04:58:00.001-07:002008-04-25T05:17:21.328-07:00Creative Juices? Ewww<div>So last night it <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">occurred</span> to me that if I'm going to start blogging again I should sit down and ponder getting back my sense of humor. These last few months have just wiped me of it so it seems.</div><div></div><br /><div>I start thinking of funny things, silly things, hilarious things that my kids, husband or dog have done. </div><div></div><br /><div>I came up with a whole <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">lotta</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">nuttin</span>'. </div><div></div><br /><div>It was wretched.</div><div></div><br /><div>I'm a pretty funny girl and I usually look for the funny side of most shit that occurs in my life otherwise I'd end up screaming at trees and scaring the neighborhood children. This time...not so much.</div><br /><div></div><div>Then it happened....</div><br /><div></div><div>My son walked past me smelling like not just ONE gym locker, but TWO. It should be a crime to smell that bad but he had baseball practice and then rode his bike home..in the rain...so he smelled like sweat AND wet dog. Wonderful. Anyway, enough about my son's stink.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>He sees me sitting at the PC.</div><br /><div></div><div>"What's up MOM-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">EE</span>?"</div><div></div><br /><div>"Not much <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Bubba</span>....you ARE going to shower soon? Right?"</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>"Yeah. After I eat this."</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><em>I'm now looking down at a plate with 4 sloppy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">joes</span>, a can of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">pringles</span> and an additional <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">tupperware</span> with the equivalent of 1/2 a can of chopped pineapple and 1/2 a pint of strawberries mixed together. <strong>HOW IN THE WORLD anyone consumes that much is beyond me. </strong>My stomach hurt just looking at it but he IS a growing 15 yr old.</em></div><br /><div><em></em></div><br /><div>"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Ok</span>. Well I'm just sitting here trying to write down some stuff for my blog."</div><br /><div></div><div>"Awesome. You're gonna blog again? That's sweet Mom. So basically you're trying to get your creative juices flowing?"</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">EEEEWWWWWEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW</span></span></strong></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Apparently the ability for my mind to jump from curb to gutter taking approximately 1.2 seconds has RETURNED because hearing your son say any phrase that includes the word <strong><em><u><span style="color:#3333ff;">JUICES </span></u></em></strong>and <strong><em><u><span style="color:#3333ff;">FLOWING</span></u></em></strong> .....</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>IS.JUST.WRONG</div><div> </div><div>My disgusting perverseness is still intact. Check.</div><div>Seeing my son as a human being. Check.</div><div>Humor? I'm working on it.</div><div> </div><div>Good thing he's cute.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><a onclick="" href="http://bl134w.blu134.mail.live.com/mail/ReadMessageLight.aspx?Action=ScanAttachment&AllowUnsafeContentOverride=False&AttachmentIndex=0&AttachmentDepth=0&FolderID=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000001&InboxSortAscending=True&InboxSortBy=Sender&IsMessageSafe=True&MessageCodePage=20127&ReadMessageId=6fb2134b-f40b-4308-b9ce-21fc1d6c7cee&n=1479145595"></a></div><br /><div><strong><em></em></strong></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz_hrmT2B6uO_-XIu7KLcf0J1yI67tW7L1RZrqEvn-YFZ7Ud1k1i4wa0W0YRtQCSmYIWhtXKvgSqEAgIkgZDi84vlenEmVUomf3CjbY4X_k9_cUI_HWeiVbMCCA5zpBjRaGJbSQfgW96YX/s1600-h/kyle+and+Casey.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5193155020479508482" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz_hrmT2B6uO_-XIu7KLcf0J1yI67tW7L1RZrqEvn-YFZ7Ud1k1i4wa0W0YRtQCSmYIWhtXKvgSqEAgIkgZDi84vlenEmVUomf3CjbY4X_k9_cUI_HWeiVbMCCA5zpBjRaGJbSQfgW96YX/s320/kyle+and+Casey.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div><strong><em></em></strong></div>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-13664254914464332682008-04-24T11:39:00.000-07:002008-04-24T12:06:27.803-07:00Almost a Year in the Life<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf7TRdfxW1RXRHjhNI_hx1zGYS_6IMrPo6uyWn0Vr6He8Hf8WKAYJBe0qe7d7Wxz9KwmDtid7k9Ae9caH5jAxzYDEhWN_QpP2rEjK-OrHAG09r5Nd5zeoQJiYAnIe3mv03e_Ba7hxSiYtA/s1600-h/Kyle+and+Casey.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192889617270419442" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf7TRdfxW1RXRHjhNI_hx1zGYS_6IMrPo6uyWn0Vr6He8Hf8WKAYJBe0qe7d7Wxz9KwmDtid7k9Ae9caH5jAxzYDEhWN_QpP2rEjK-OrHAG09r5Nd5zeoQJiYAnIe3mv03e_Ba7hxSiYtA/s320/Kyle+and+Casey.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><br /><br /><div>It's been nearly a year since I last blogged look at how big the children were at Christmas time.</div><div></div><br /><br /><div>I want to first apologize to anyone and everyone that read and ever began to care about me and my little family through their monitors. It hasn't been easy for me. I'm not proud of the way I handled the situation entirely. Some things I couldn't help and didn't see them for what they were until long after it was all over.</div><br /><div></div><div>It wasn't right for me to only think of my own self preservation. </div><div></div><br /><div>The depression just really set it once everything was over..cuz it was like chaos for a while and then the dust cleared and my family was a mess and I'd felt like I failed everyone and all my friendships were in ruins. That's when I really felt like I'd just screwed everything up. It wasn't fair to anyone for me to completely check out like that. I just had all I could handle trying to stay afloat during it all and then trying to fix the immediate and biggest problems once it was all over. Plus raise 2 kids in the middle of all that. </div><br /><div></div><div>But to be honest, I haven't felt like me in a long time and I'm just now starting to realize what I almost lost. I almost lost ME....and the person I was so proud of being. The friend I was so proud of being. For what? A few months of hell...not worth it. I'm working really hard at balancing it all and getting back to being grateful for everything I have.</div><br /><div></div><div>I don't expect anyone to come running back every day reading my every word. I'm not even sure I'm going to blog every day. I will get back to my humor and my chaos and hope that as time can heal me it can mend the fences in my relationships but still tear down the walls I built to keep everyone out.</div><br /><div></div><div>If you're still with me....I'll give you a </div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiB0HZvfNf-_goP3Cnm6yiLn8qxAkpv2_rWmuX5tUEdvFFLYPYICZGjfZNF9yxyGNI3MolD1QqUQOT1EOR0ByDmNsRmK-h33FS6ouYAuduw8Jm9auMQXk-RaB5zDSJesTXMscYeRqEQkM6/s1600-h/Kyle+and+Casey.jpg"></a><br /><div></div><div>"A Year in the Life of the <em>Put the Fun in Dysfunctional </em>Family in 12 paragraphs or less. (3 paragraphs per member) </div><br /><div></div><div><strong><u>Me</u></strong> </div><div></div><br /><div>I don't want to talk about the treatments. It's over and done and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I will say this...fighting for your own life isn't as hard as fighting for your kids. With your kids you are pretty helpless and that's so hard. For yourself, you strap your boots on everyday and do it. Unfortunately for me...my motherhood skills didn't come in too effective when it came to multitasking..and while I was saving my body- I cut off all my internet friends that I know cared a great deal and I'm so sorry for ever making anyone angry or hurt. Therapy has helped a great deal and things are looking up. I can only imagine what an addict of some sort feels like when they have to say "I'm an addict" because it's hard for me to admit...."I just checked out." I've never been that type of selfish person and I hope I never am again...but I just couldn't deal with all the questions and the concern. It made me feel like I was already DYING and I didn't want to die. I am happy to report that I am cancer free. </div><br /><div></div><div>It was a year April 15th that I got laid off from my job. Since then we made the big move. The house and yardwork are more than I ever imagined possible...but we're learning to balance our time. The beginning of the school year (isn't that crazy since the school year is damn near over) worked out well for all of us...even though it was an adjustment. For me the end of summer last year brought an opportunity I wasn't sure I was up for....a wife of one of Jeff's coworkers wondered if I should look into watching children since I would be staying home for the time being. I registered on one "nanny" website and 3 days later I had 2 interviews. I ended up taking a job for a family with 2 kids, a girl 9 and a boy 7. They live about 7 minutes from me. They needed me 4-5 hours a day from 7-9am and 3:30 til 5:30 or 6pm. Because of the split hours I got to be home and have my own time from 9-3 every day. Because of the split "goofy" hours my boss was willing to pay more for me with the "Mom factor" as she called it then some early 20something single girl. Because of all this....I get to be home and do my thing with Casey from 9-3pm 5 days a week with no daycare cost to myself and I make almost what I used to make after I was paying $800 a month for daycare for Casey while I worked. All this = partime work for almost full time pay=financially not all that bad It's turned out to be the best thing I could have done. They give me the day or afternoon off all the time, over pay me almost every week, gave me a week's HIGH salary for a Christmas bonus and I adore the kids and they adore Casey. They let me take the kids to Kyle's football and baseball games and I have so much flexibility. It's because of all of this and the friendship I have developed with my boss that I have agreed to work full time for her over the summer. So 50 hours a week. She's agreed that because of my inground pool I can spend 2-3 days a week at my own house with them and 2 or 3 days at her house so the kids can have friends over and play with their friends in their neighborhood...for $525 a week. So basically it starts June 9th through Aug 22nd. Then I get 3 days off before the kids start school because their Mom takes that week off to take them to Great America and shop for school clothes, etc. It'll be hard but double the income for 10 weeks doesn't suck... </div><br /><div></div><div>Which brings me to this.....Overall Jeff and I have never been better...we were both worried the financial crap wrapped up in all the chaos and changes would just lead us right to the path of divorce..but honestly he's never been happier with me home enjoying Casey. The hours sometimes present an issue like "Gosh I'm right in the middle of something. I wish I didn't have to go back to work at 3pm." but over time we've worked it out. I think he's just happy that his job has been so financially sound that I've been able to work part-time and have the time to be here for the kids. We both know the summer is going to challenge us...but we've hired a cleaning lady for ridiculously CHEAP..she works for the family I work for and she gave me such a good deal we just couldn't pass her up for the summer. This way since I'll be gone 50 hours a week I can spend the weekends with my kids. We have been together 6 years this past January and are planning a trip to Vegas for our 5th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY in October. </div><br /><div></div><div><strong><u>Jeff</u></strong> </div><div> </div><div>After the move Jeff continued to drive about an hour and 15 mins to work until it boiled over in late November. He decided after the 1st of the year he wanted to transfer to a closer store and hopefully be a manager of his own store. He applied for a store 5 mins from home but didn't get it. He applied again in late March for another store about a 1/2 hour away..and I'm happy to report that May 5th he officially starts as MANAGER of his own store. Verizon has been very good to us. In less than 2 years he's been hired and promoted 2 times. This promotion brings a nice price tag of more pay between base and commission targets plus he a small gas increase but with prices where they are..something is better than nothing. He really just enjoys being able to support me emotionally as well as financially being home. Anyway, he's doing well. </div><br /><div></div><div>His family is the same as ever...they suck. (Is that a paragraph?) </div><br /><div></div><div>He's been able to grow more in being such a wonderful Dad since this move....because I'm not screaming or nagging or whatever at him to help me do things around the house because I'm home all day to do them. When he gets home he just gets to be DAD...with the exception of the yard work lately for spring..he gets to spend his days off with the kids and me doing something fun. He and Kyle have been working on their relationship and with a little therapy have come a long way. We've both started weight watchers in January and he's lost a ton of weight and 2 pants sizes. I'm down 20lbs since January 14th. We bought an elliptical machine with our tax return and we hit it about 6 times a week between the 2 of us. </div><br /><div></div><div><strong><u>Kyle</u></strong> </div><div></div><br /><div>Kyle's transition to high school as well as the move has turned out quite well. Not without a few bumps in the road but by all accounts..he's done extremely well. He's had 3 girlfriends but is currently single. He's been to 2 formal dances at his own school and 2 formal dances at the school from back home. That's 2 homecomings, a winter formal at his school and one dance where the girl asks the boy from back home. He's pulling a B average in school with the exception of spanish. He struggles. I don't mind one C on the report card but he's pulling 3 or 4 As, 2 Bs and 1 C every report card. </div><div> </div><div>Football was awesome. They went undefeated. He had 7 interceptions as a safety for the defense and he LOVED IT! Baseball is going well. Lots of rainouts so far but right now they are 12-1. He's pitching and playing 2nd base again and when 50+ kids tried out for the team he was convinced he might get cut. They ended up taking 30 kids and he's a starter on the A team. So he must hold his own pretty well. He's made a lot of "friendly friends" as I would call them but not a lot of "close" friends yet. I miss the kids that are at my house all the time constantly..someone you can always count on him hanging with...but he hasn't made any of those, not yet anyway. It's pretty seasonal by sport. He hung with the same kids during football..then when a few went on to play basketball and he didn't he started hanging out with a different group of kids..now that his basketball friends are done and he's playing baseball but they aren't..it's a totally different group of kids. Which is fine...spread yourself around..but it's hard to get to know the kids really well when they constantly switch. He's taking drivers ed in summer school and has had his permit since December. He's actually a fairly good driver and we're hoping that my sister is ready to buy a new car by the fall and she'll sell us her 1998 Ford ZX2 for $1,000. It's transmission was replaced about a year ago and for $1,000 we'll have a 3rd vehicle for him to drive. Isn't that just crazy...he's going to be 16 in September? </div><br /><div></div><div>He and Jeff have gotten closer and what they have now is less "StepFather/Stepson" drama and more your typical "I'm just closer to one parent" kind of "Dad you're annoying me" arguments. Much more respect between the 2 of them..and I have to wonder if it's the therapy or just that they might both have matured over this last year. He's still an amazing brother....does something with Casey every day he can. He reads to her, plays basketball with her little tikes hoop, and now that it's warm he's been taking her to the park. They have matching t-shirts I bought them. They are black and hers says in red letters "Big Brothers Rock"like in KISS or AC/DC lettering and his is black and says in PINK letters "Baby Sisters Rock". </div><br /><div></div><div><strong><u>Casey</u></strong> is doing great. Enjoying time with Mom. Although this week will be week #3 of Friday morning playgroup. I drop her off from 9-12 every Friday. She cries for a few minutes and then does well and loves the other kids. Considering she's going to be 3 in June....she's not doing well with the whole potty training thing. She has no real desire to go near it. She'll sit on it....but not much more. </div><div></div><br /><div>She's a total diva yet a tomboy at the same time. She loves "pretty dresses", lipgloss and she's OBSESSED with shoes. Yet at the same time loves to wrestle with her Dad, play basketball and baseball (she has her own tee) with her brother and loves NOTHING more than getting covered in dirt in the yard when we water the flowers I planted. </div><br /><div></div><div>We took her to see the Doodlebops live in March, she loves Caillou and My Little Pony. She can also watch Shrek 2 and Shark Tale over and over in day. She got a little play kitchen for Christmas that she adores and loves to sing and dance. Overall she's my absolute bundle of joy. </div><br /><div></div><div>As for the rest of my family, they are all still nuts. </div><br /><div></div><div>My brother and his family barely come around for holidays let alone anything else.</div><br /><div></div><div>My Mom is still the atypical co-dependent. If her man likes hot sauce on his eggs, so does she. Most of her attire says Harley Davidson now and she's never around. Or wait..only to come over and basically tell me I wasn't keeping HER house clean enough and I need to get more organized. We didn't speak for about 2 weeks after that argument and then when we did, Jeff got involved and it got ugly and I've made her realize that she wasn't perfect when she had little kids in the house either. </div><br /><div></div><div>My sister Kelly is cancer free as well after having her thyroid removed last year and doing better. She and her boyfriend (after 8 years) have finally OFFICIALLY agreed to live together. They will be moving into the townhouse he bought 2 years ago and has been making livable since....sometime this fall. They will be about a 1/2 hour from us after the move. </div><br /><br /><div></div><div>My sister Shannon joined the ROTC unit at her school with the National Guard and she is going for her annual training for 3 weeks in SEATTLE. I was hoping to come to her graduation but taking the full time job I won't be able to make it. From there she's doing a 3 week internship in HAWAII so she'll be gone most of the summer and we're throwing her a going away party May 31st at my house to send her off. She's doing so great and we'll miss her. </div><br /><div></div><div>My Dad and StepMom miss us. Being over an hour away is hard but they came to all of Kyle's home football games and have been at all his home baseball games so we've been seeing them more. They still struggle financially but my Dad is looking for more full time work. He has 3 years before he can touch his MILLIONS in retirement.....but his 2 part time jobs keep them afloat for now. </div><br /><div></div><div>Otherwise everyone's health is looking up and doing much better. As for my friendships..I feel like I blew it and I miss those that matter most. I do feel awful for cutting EVERYONE out....I just couldn't and didn't know how to handle it. It took a long time for me to get where I needed to be. Meds weren't working, doses weren't right, depression was awful...and once the fog lifted I felt like I didn't deserve anyone back because I let it slip away. I didn't feel strong enough to ask the tough questions for fear of the tough answers. Yet..here I am....hoping you will forgive me. I feel awful for being absent. I can't wait to spend time catching up with everyone.</div><br /><div></div><div> </div></div>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-86423377766896317442007-07-06T07:20:00.000-07:002007-07-06T07:33:59.026-07:00They Say The Truth Shall Set You FreeLast week <strong>That Chick </strong>called me to tell me she'd been getting emails asking if I was alright.<br /><br />I'm getting emails asking if I'm <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ok</span>.<br /><br />There is something I've been trying to keep from my blog. Something I didn't want to creep over into my "alternative blog world". Something I wanted to keep very private almost as if I didn't talk about it here, it couldn't really be happening to me.<br /><br />This was supposed to be my happy place.<br /><br />Back at the beginning of Spring I was diagnosed with Stage 1 Breast Cancer.<br /><br />I did a round of radiation treatments and some oral chemo.<br /><br />About a month ago we find out that it's possible we didn't get it all.<br /><br />So I had to cancel my trip to see <strong>That Chick</strong> because that was the week I had a port put in for additional chemotherapy treatments.<br /><br />Since then...I've been pretty useless. I'm tired all the time, I'm sick, I'm losing my hair, I've had to hire someone to come in twice a week to take care of the baby because usually the day after treatment I don't get out of bed.<br /><br />It's been 3 weeks and I have to go for 2 more. I'll wrap up just in time to attempt to move. Oh joy! Then more tests, more blood work, more poking and prodding and seeing if things have spread. Then we see what happens.<br /><br />Lately, when I get online I hardly even check email. I get on to balance the checkbook, maybe research something I'm looking for that I might need for the new house..and that's it. I'm not very mobile these days. They gave me <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">meds</span> to help with the nausea...but just like with my pregnancy...they don't work all that well. <br /><br />Some days Casey and I watch a lot of movies...some days like last week when <strong>Chick</strong> called me...I was up and running a quick errand..in an attempt to still feel human. Some days Kyle and I will take Casey to the park and he'll chase her all over while I find a bench in the shade and watch. Those are the days that hit me the hardest...I can't chase my little girl around. I can't run and laugh and play with her.<br /><br />Other days..I do a lot of crying and feeling sorry for myself..but I do my best to snap out of it.<br /><br />Right now...Jeff and I are tossing around the idea of a possible double <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">mastectomy</span>. I think if I beat it this time around..getting rid of all the tissue just makes sense to me...but it becomes quite a complicated matter when the things that make you feel so feminine are the things that could kill you.<br /><br />Anyway, I just thought it was time to let my painful secret that seems to weigh 10 tons out of the box.<br /><br />Only problem is...I don't feel any lighter.Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-48671249828684861432007-06-14T02:25:00.000-07:002007-06-14T02:46:09.292-07:0017 1/2 doctor appointments and one possible sleep studySorry..the Land of Dysfunctional and Organized Chaos has been existing on less than 3 hours sleeps a night for approximately the last 2 weeks. Less than 6 hours for over a month.<br /><br />Finally Monday we went in for her 2 year checkup.<br /><br />My preemie is in the 50<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">th</span> percentile for both height and weight. She's caught up with all her developmental milestones and the doctors couldn't be more thrilled with her. "Just one tiny problem DOC----she hasn't slept through the night in almost a month since her nose started running clear snot. She's cried and screamed herself hoarse 6 times in the last 3 weeks."<br /><br />Another 10 minute discussion brings us to the thought that because of her horrendous allergies she's not getting into a deep enough sleep to keep her from waking every 2-3 hours. The screaming sounds like it could be night terrors except you only get those in Stage 4 sleep and CLEARLY she's not getting there.<br /><br />Off to the allergist we go---pollen, cottonwood, mold those get her HORRIBLE. Slight allergy to grass but the allergist says "don't let her roll around in freshly cut and she should be fine."<br /><br />Back to her <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">pedi</span> that says..."If you can tough it out another 7 days or so I'd like to put her on Zyrtec. Give it to her about a 1/2 hour before bedtime...if it works...great. If in another week she's not sleeping almost through the night, I want her in for a sleep study."<br /><br />Kyle's high school physical.<br />Kyle's annual eye exam.<br /><br />3 different appointments for me. Check the oil and kick the tires...gotcha. <strong><em>What ever do you mean I need a tune UP? How dare you?</em></strong><br /><br />Last night was day 3 of the Zyrtec and to me it's working so HOPEFULLY we don't need the sleep study. She's sleeping in (2) 4-5 hour blocks with a "water" break in between.<br /><br />What does all of this mean?<br /><br />Well it means that I had to cancel my trip to see <a href="http://jasonfortheloveofgod.blogspot.com/<a">My Best Friend in the world</a> and I'm just devastated about it. More than I think she'll ever realize...<br /><br />It means I've spent $100 in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">copays</span> in the last 3 weeks and another $60 on medicines WITH my insurance. (Thank God for insurance)<br /><br />Hopefully back to the world of blogging and catching up and tomorrow maybe I'll have something more comical to write about.Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-72925393489795185492007-06-05T07:25:00.000-07:002007-06-05T07:56:12.027-07:00Overwhelmed by Love<div><div><div>Sorry to be so in and out lately...lots going on at home.</div><div> </div><div>Still not feeling very well. Casey has been sick with a runny nose/allergy something or other for almost 2 weeks and she hasn't slept through the night since it started.<br /></div><div>Throw in a trip to your <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">in laws</span> (16+ hours in the car), a graduation, a graduation dance, a baseball tournament and your daughter's birthday..and well you get one tired Mama.<br /></div><br /><div>I will spend the day catching up on my blog roll, sending and responding to emails and trying to get a nap.</div><div><br />In the meantime, graduation was wonderful and of course emotional.</div><br /><div>Preparing for his dance was exhausting but fun.</div><div><br />His dance was so much fun. I got to watch him have the most fun I've seen him have and I got to give him a class award. It was too much fun.</div><br /><div>In the middle of that he played baseball games 7pm Friday night, 10am Sat morning, 3pm Saturday afternoon, had to shower and be ready for the dance Sat by 6pm, dance at 7pm and another baseball game Sunday, which was also Casey's 2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">nd</span> birthday.<br /></div><div>We had cupcakes at the game and all the boys sang to her. She had a great time. My Dad had Kyle's rocking horse that he gave him for his 1st birthday fixed up and gave it to Casey at the baseball game. I still have to dump those pictures but she loves it.<br /></div><br /><div>Funny to think in just a few short months Kyle will probably be turning 15 and going to his first homecoming dance. My goodness the time flies by.<br /><br /></div><div>Graduation Night</div><div><div><div><div><div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7u6-bK4LqGsdrdc5mJ1glZ9FlVZEOocTn85SBw-PwXeQHgOHAFDYbk9eWBrNLyfrr0xnPBdNbAwpNmwCCTlYbZcBmlP4_LsTM9xfUeQ5utuO6KrKyo5TWRf5bY9uPRusfBTy2UzcHikm3/s1600-h/Kyle+&+Casey.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072590213664708178" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7u6-bK4LqGsdrdc5mJ1glZ9FlVZEOocTn85SBw-PwXeQHgOHAFDYbk9eWBrNLyfrr0xnPBdNbAwpNmwCCTlYbZcBmlP4_LsTM9xfUeQ5utuO6KrKyo5TWRf5bY9uPRusfBTy2UzcHikm3/s320/Kyle+%26+Casey.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Leaving for the dance<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt-S9cEC6-QYMqvTnZH0nicoJiPlUp78w9YyTz0JW1et8Y6eSL5jirE1SWgsVQcTVrJOWgz2MwTNWhBuRW9Xej-6kEbW0CkgiY33JGsJWLfuz13PjlygrY74DobmzEZ8fHa5ZxXoUydLQJ/s1600-h/Kyle+&+Casey+Dance.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072590591621830274" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt-S9cEC6-QYMqvTnZH0nicoJiPlUp78w9YyTz0JW1et8Y6eSL5jirE1SWgsVQcTVrJOWgz2MwTNWhBuRW9Xej-6kEbW0CkgiY33JGsJWLfuz13PjlygrY74DobmzEZ8fHa5ZxXoUydLQJ/s320/Kyle+%26+Casey+Dance.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><br /><div>My handsome boy<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFpZahGoCd3thNTs878WaIUxGXWf7U7uiaIoBk4nSXY2HyfOkPDBx30vXrHuMlDl4rVAfGnKUS3uPP0pn_CMR4VRDM7E3NcHNeFn1HgLXhVI5nKjCW7C24IDums7tvBXeMggFwUrJ00QBu/s1600-h/Kyle+alone.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072590389758367330" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFpZahGoCd3thNTs878WaIUxGXWf7U7uiaIoBk4nSXY2HyfOkPDBx30vXrHuMlDl4rVAfGnKUS3uPP0pn_CMR4VRDM7E3NcHNeFn1HgLXhVI5nKjCW7C24IDums7tvBXeMggFwUrJ00QBu/s320/Kyle+alone.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><div>The Family </div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgILtsUSx2No_HhK3u6Uct5A8Te0DgIbsz2ZjvCg7WRDEjLJ2LuPh4mPboTNaXGglnHwt5cni3gudAqY70Q5n5vINs0v-AUkVc_TPoKyRk-B2gR6KwbDFBGG8HGqKNEgZaer7llbIj2a188/s1600-h/Family+at+Dance.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072593233026717394" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgILtsUSx2No_HhK3u6Uct5A8Te0DgIbsz2ZjvCg7WRDEjLJ2LuPh4mPboTNaXGglnHwt5cni3gudAqY70Q5n5vINs0v-AUkVc_TPoKyRk-B2gR6KwbDFBGG8HGqKNEgZaer7llbIj2a188/s320/Family+at+Dance.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /></div></div><div>Giving flowers to his date, Madeline<br /></div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZckK86-Jx4wjEPvFtsR-glBpL0PrlJ5xpEPlsmi3t38CiKhe3RNR-phkXkAJ7Gv0rzCeaHQJ5q2xdXQzN1E4EhRHtKAmloT9LYcZaSIKF2zm9KC3bI1wEBZHsW7kgQ5kh9GaWF8JdeSB-/s1600-h/Family+at+Dance.jpg"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbJJQsn1M2zeKEW-EokPw_36vAeZigo0Ms-vcuuT-Bsc4mCxI8oFNRuYIXSSm6N7C92BhlvxBsctnZtqF1h_PuATx4N0YACB7aYqEvyg2kslpvbpuM3rUygs6IIWwqTJw98DiCq0adhqcr/s1600-h/Kyle+giving+flower.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072590690406078098" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbJJQsn1M2zeKEW-EokPw_36vAeZigo0Ms-vcuuT-Bsc4mCxI8oFNRuYIXSSm6N7C92BhlvxBsctnZtqF1h_PuATx4N0YACB7aYqEvyg2kslpvbpuM3rUygs6IIWwqTJw98DiCq0adhqcr/s320/Kyle+giving+flower.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><div><br />The Cute Couple<br /></div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf-d6TGl1zgXg9xTJrD_FqhEQAvIJ9Wqy3ul_pfZcXnTgSL5WOBMdNiHWcqYCQMoeFDdZyJyLMxm078M8v2A4bRetmj_3CpiyQoLBDlQx3xFf1tpL6RMaagvoPK5-6yvdDHqwdb3RE9SE6/s1600-h/Kyle+&+Madeline.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072590780600391330" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf-d6TGl1zgXg9xTJrD_FqhEQAvIJ9Wqy3ul_pfZcXnTgSL5WOBMdNiHWcqYCQMoeFDdZyJyLMxm078M8v2A4bRetmj_3CpiyQoLBDlQx3xFf1tpL6RMaagvoPK5-6yvdDHqwdb3RE9SE6/s320/Kyle+%26+Madeline.jpg" border="0" /></a></div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>The "Group"<br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqnjNgNBsY5qOymmlvMBmNIRzUQKfSAjIYXQLUioDHjXp5aCiaQbN_C8aL7s3k1g9x-Z58S8Rrs8qqTktz01nq4aDThVPfDP3g34_MVPsyX0JQ5uSxZdN4fJtN8WGXZ4L4jMRkaIrCWntV/s1600-h/The+Group.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072593469249918690" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqnjNgNBsY5qOymmlvMBmNIRzUQKfSAjIYXQLUioDHjXp5aCiaQbN_C8aL7s3k1g9x-Z58S8Rrs8qqTktz01nq4aDThVPfDP3g34_MVPsyX0JQ5uSxZdN4fJtN8WGXZ4L4jMRkaIrCWntV/s320/The+Group.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Then we have the birthday girl---poor kid spends all her birthdays at her brother's baseball games.</div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDfLx_Bqszzygqq9IBUse_RmVGHLwdMO2Ehj5D77UJXdzFJWkavxf0yi-Y8og4Y8xmUwa-R76HxqYcPnOEX17Toxd3ba5QMs-yMw43YcCEGDU6TOHYTRBDTOfKG9HMKQcouUP-OJ4X4cB/s1600-h/Casey+Seat.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072593765602662130" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDfLx_Bqszzygqq9IBUse_RmVGHLwdMO2Ehj5D77UJXdzFJWkavxf0yi-Y8og4Y8xmUwa-R76HxqYcPnOEX17Toxd3ba5QMs-yMw43YcCEGDU6TOHYTRBDTOfKG9HMKQcouUP-OJ4X4cB/s320/Casey+Seat.jpg" border="0" /></a></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-1341708810616175202007-05-30T05:54:00.000-07:002007-05-30T06:10:11.597-07:00Pomp and CircumstancesSorry for the interruption of the regularly scheduled program.<br /><br />I had every intention of blogging on Friday before I went out of town..and things just got away from me.<br /><br />Friday night at 8pm CST we left to go up North to the UP to see Jeff's family. We arrived at 3am CST and 4am local time.<br /><br />Circumstances beyond my control left me with the following:<br /><br /><ul><li>Jeff's nephew is HIGH FREAKING MAINTENANCE and because of this...</li><li>Jeff's sister is HIGH STRUNG the entire time and reminds me "Just how lucky" I am to have a child that isn't high maintenance....all while huffing and puffing around me and Casey.</li><li>Jeff and his Dad had a running argument all weekend...ready? Per Jeff's Dad...anyone that buys bottled water is a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">dumbass</span> and you don't need power windows in your car.</li><li>We drove 8 hours to be exhausted and see the actual graduate for 20 minutes.</li><li>At some point my digital camera died.</li><li>Our normal 8 hour drive home...ended up taking almost 9 because Casey started full out crying about 2 hours from home and we had to get out of the vehicle when she'd been crying for nearly 45 minutes STRAIGHT. She then cried another 25 standing in a parking lot of McDonald's. We finally managed to bride her with ice cream and she ran around for 20 minutes and then we managed to get her back in the car and finish the last 2 hours of the trip. What is the first thing out of Jeff's Mom's mouth when we call to tell her we are almost home???? "Well if you made the trip MORE OFTEN she'd be more used to the drive." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Twice a year is twice too many.</li></ul><p>So because of this.....I had a super duper clingy child all day Tuesday but we did manage to get to Best Buy to get a new Sony <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Cybershot</span> for only $65 out of my pocket (thank you for saving gift cards from Christmas and birthdays).</p><p> </p><p>WHY do I need a new camera?</p><p>Because TONIGHT is son's 8<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">th</span> grade graduation. My baby is graduating tonight.</p><p>So basically my day consists of ironing 10 items for the family, charging the battery and running somewhere to get him black dress socks and tissue for the ceremony.</p><p>Lord knows I'm gonna need it.</p><p> </p>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-1803814116940917502007-05-24T06:02:00.000-07:002007-05-24T06:02:08.671-07:00Guess Who Is TWO!!!Well n0t yet. June 3rd to be exact.<br /><br /><br />But guess who had their pictures taken yesterday?<br /><br /><br />Presenting Casey June's latest photo shoot.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieomWPJFyGHWLKlzsVYaIHXhol0av5lmOj1wIAkbsAr3dxCZf7d1iur_l2eeK_0HN-KQuCImQaBu_4EHYqM9ymR-258cgcRI-enV_X7CIXMb2SEcv4us9Hz70mnNbKzo0Wnk7FYAW5AeKA/s1600-h/Casey+Kneeling.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5067861420507967538" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieomWPJFyGHWLKlzsVYaIHXhol0av5lmOj1wIAkbsAr3dxCZf7d1iur_l2eeK_0HN-KQuCImQaBu_4EHYqM9ymR-258cgcRI-enV_X7CIXMb2SEcv4us9Hz70mnNbKzo0Wnk7FYAW5AeKA/s320/Casey+Kneeling.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF0LQuR7VQmXedmVFDTBx0whI2Kz8kYR9sNbE3yWl-43BPwL-bnqY6lT01kpBx0f92BB_DjQQgyeRYn62-ShnL9aR3Pt5hKY-8t61FBaoJTB6FAa0Ik8qPk0JsmEoWwCcA1IQ19mudqF3o/s1600-h/Casey+flower.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5067861308838817826" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF0LQuR7VQmXedmVFDTBx0whI2Kz8kYR9sNbE3yWl-43BPwL-bnqY6lT01kpBx0f92BB_DjQQgyeRYn62-ShnL9aR3Pt5hKY-8t61FBaoJTB6FAa0Ik8qPk0JsmEoWwCcA1IQ19mudqF3o/s320/Casey+flower.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ7FWlh7CpNJojockwx2aQKrUg-_j8dGTQQktFl8bLOrhW1dQRvirxR6aGro4DeyWqH_Fzlsl0QmuAuCQnM7rQI9oVKecPooIKD-UfeVP_rXKS8jye95CvrzvULeOcxDPLA-wjoq_yj28q/s1600-h/Casey+standing.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5067861188579733522" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ7FWlh7CpNJojockwx2aQKrUg-_j8dGTQQktFl8bLOrhW1dQRvirxR6aGro4DeyWqH_Fzlsl0QmuAuCQnM7rQI9oVKecPooIKD-UfeVP_rXKS8jye95CvrzvULeOcxDPLA-wjoq_yj28q/s320/Casey+standing.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRHPdw3d5_86_mz48qA8wXzJ8wySaJMsXv7tY4NGetRdMtOjK9jDg1-7-ZxxDRmzWZ3_09vMS2FW-nIOI2-StX2YQtb_cp3fFS82pgil_AnV8_im2JcOwVF7qj-jZ0xAZuTqamLUbFDSDZ/s1600-h/Casey+stump.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5067861038255878146" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRHPdw3d5_86_mz48qA8wXzJ8wySaJMsXv7tY4NGetRdMtOjK9jDg1-7-ZxxDRmzWZ3_09vMS2FW-nIOI2-StX2YQtb_cp3fFS82pgil_AnV8_im2JcOwVF7qj-jZ0xAZuTqamLUbFDSDZ/s320/Casey+stump.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2w4aWULQzCrs6wGfSzA0aOei9F1KdnPSGwCijjWAjjl_waddQWI5smpLuGJGXAHCapBAGMQ2lfjuBll8zssz_lTYVQFmjFNyjvkKzRu2iyzdWHyP3SkjrTtEwmpR7T9t80C_RgCKrZu8D/s1600-h/Casey+belly.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5067860887932022770" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2w4aWULQzCrs6wGfSzA0aOei9F1KdnPSGwCijjWAjjl_waddQWI5smpLuGJGXAHCapBAGMQ2lfjuBll8zssz_lTYVQFmjFNyjvkKzRu2iyzdWHyP3SkjrTtEwmpR7T9t80C_RgCKrZu8D/s320/Casey+belly.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM4FuxlmfvFv9KSkBS6MsAffRCeqVljd7mCbdU7pQRjznxi4tXoIfOmNrl1fGyUZ3Z7RNZDL-Yz1KI5mDfA3_IlHXv-T9yzZfjRrx1sn8GN8xrvBskuJhcAQglxxPS2y39-QNauZRnUQ2h/s1600-h/Casey+Rock.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5067860754788036578" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM4FuxlmfvFv9KSkBS6MsAffRCeqVljd7mCbdU7pQRjznxi4tXoIfOmNrl1fGyUZ3Z7RNZDL-Yz1KI5mDfA3_IlHXv-T9yzZfjRrx1sn8GN8xrvBskuJhcAQglxxPS2y39-QNauZRnUQ2h/s320/Casey+Rock.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyhoFRCZI6gjxDK3wlmxPL2E5zGcqu-AkWYex1wuV5lelHRpU15ODV6e-Vxs5a-Pp2oR3BvDIHzmBJYIf5xi-R9uUSkdzyGeYEAqo2YBZGkQXFiRJHhNx1MJG0quNwxJfig0ho7O-HcS82/s1600-h/Casey+Wagon.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5067860578694377426" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyhoFRCZI6gjxDK3wlmxPL2E5zGcqu-AkWYex1wuV5lelHRpU15ODV6e-Vxs5a-Pp2oR3BvDIHzmBJYIf5xi-R9uUSkdzyGeYEAqo2YBZGkQXFiRJHhNx1MJG0quNwxJfig0ho7O-HcS82/s320/Casey+Wagon.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-3wLJsEoHpHe1z1Ca7WSN2VHR9e2VI1Pg31OOHJBMUdOn18LN9rv4LKTp92nNeRTqmP8U4L5y_agNDIkFcvWb2h5PgoHt1LIiEA01scjfuBMIuzvuImRsU-hzqaO19Q4HwNmM1PLE-Mt2/s1600-h/Casey+hip.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5067860338176208834" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-3wLJsEoHpHe1z1Ca7WSN2VHR9e2VI1Pg31OOHJBMUdOn18LN9rv4LKTp92nNeRTqmP8U4L5y_agNDIkFcvWb2h5PgoHt1LIiEA01scjfuBMIuzvuImRsU-hzqaO19Q4HwNmM1PLE-Mt2/s320/Casey+hip.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Need I say ANY MORE about this child?</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>To think 2 years ago today I was already on bed rest totally unaware that this little miracle was about to come 10 weeks early.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>In the words of Casey "UN-WEEL!"</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-12628194016167389242007-05-23T05:21:00.000-07:002007-05-23T05:21:04.313-07:00May, May Go AwayRemember how I started the year with "2007 Goals".<br /><br />I've never really updated how I was working on them so now seems like a good time with May just about gone. I'll score myself on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being the best, 1 being the worst.<br /><br /><br /><ol><br /><br /><li>Spend more time with my family actually BEING with them-rather than observing something we are involved in. <strong><em><span style="color:#3333ff;">This is working out ok. It helps being home so I have more time for this. Even before I was laid off I was doing ok with this so I'm pretty pleased with myself. I'll give myself a 7.</span></em></strong></li><br /><br /><li>Try and be more patient with my husband. - I've tried to explain to him that if he just woke up a Rockefeller tomorrow..I could be a stay at home Mom and the pressure of being gone 11-12 hours a day would help me be much more attentive to him and our home. <strong><em><span style="color:#3333ff;">Again, being home for the last month has helped considering but again, prior to that I was doing well. Carving out time for ourselves was going along fine. I had set up a weekly "chore" chart for us where he picked up the dry cleaning one week and I did the next. If I had to do grocery shopping by myself, he did all the laundry that weekend. He was cooperating nicely knowing that I couldn't do 150% while all he did was go to work. So I'd say I'll give myself a 7 on this one too. </span></em></strong></li><br /><br /><li>Lose the weight- I'm not even going to try and trick myself by putting out a number that is ridiculous. If I could be down a dress size by June when Kyle graduates that would be great. Where I end up at year end...as long as it's ATLEAST 20 lbs less than NOW, for me will be a great goal attained. <strong><em><span style="color:#3333ff;">Well being a size smaller by June didn't work out so well. I'm chalking that up to my family and all the stress of the illness, not to mention my own issues with medications wearing me out and not getting enough exercise. I have been good about walking almost daily with Casey since I've been home so that is helping. If nothing else, I've been MUCH MUCH BETTER about what I'm eating so that should help when things get back to normal with the meds and exercise. I'm giving myself an 8 on this one.</span></em></strong></li><br /><br /><li>Drink more water- One would think this would be easy but I act as though there is a shortage on the stuff sometimes. <strong><em><span style="color:#3333ff;">Hands down this has been the easiest. It's all I drink at home all day long. I have one Diet Rite with dinner and one cup of coffee in the morning. This one gets a 9.</span></em></strong></li><br /><br /><li>Get the finances in shape- This will require me being a bit of stickler with my DH and my dear son. It will require more planning on my part for meal preparation and anticipating nights we will be on the run and having something prepared rather than driving thru or getting Subway. It's a big job but I think I'm prepared and ready to get started. <strong><em><span style="color:#3333ff;">This one I'm VERY VERY pleased with. I do my meal plans for the entire span from paycheck to paycheck, then I make a grocery list and shop. I plan meals I can cook when I know I can be home, I put meals in the crockpot when I know I'm not going to be home or when I know we won't be home til later to eat. We've really only eaten on the run one or two times. Finances are a little out of whack because of graduation and my collecting unemployment but we're still on target for our move in July so that's a good sign. Another one I'll give myself an 8 for.</span></em></strong></li><br /><br /><li>Continue to keep a good mindset regarding my inlaws and their indifference to my husband and our children-This was a a 2006 goal and I may have fallen off the wagon a few times but I've always managed to catch the wagon and hop right back on. I've noticed less tension with my husband on this level and so now when I'm REALLY angry I fight the good fights..otherwise I've really been trying to pick my battles and when it's not important...not traumatize Jeff with my own insecurities about them. <strong><em><span style="color:#3333ff;">I've done ok. Since we're heading up there this weekend and leaving Kyle behind during a really competitive tournament I'm a bit pissed...but it is the way it is. What I'm most angry about is that in 2 years none of them have been here to visit us. None of them have come down to see Kyle play ball. None of them have even mentioned it. I decided I'm tired of waiting so I invited them all to Kyle's graduation party Father's Day weekend. Will they show up? Probably NOT....but I've promised myself I'm not going to take it out on Jeff. I'll give myself an 8 on this. Certain things push my buttons and other things I used to let bother me...don't bother me as much anymore.</span></em></strong></li><br /><br /><li>Carve out more time for myself- THIS is a very hard one. I adore my family and all that it entails..but sometimes I see my books collecting dust or my journal and I just want to cry. I want to steal 30 minutes for myself and hole up somewhere. <strong><span style="color:#3333ff;"><em>This one....gets a big fat 10 and mostly due to my non-working status. I could have taken this extra time and filled it with something else besides spending some of it with myself. In a month I've completed a few projects I wanted to get done for myself and read 2 books so that's a big difference.</em></span></strong></li></ol>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-30694530250774659982007-05-22T07:28:00.000-07:002007-05-22T07:58:00.100-07:00Inquiring Minds Want To Know<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ok</span>..sorry I was MIA yesterday. Dealing with stuff for graduation/graduation dance at school/graduation party and doctor stuff for my entire family.<br /><br />So onto dishing the dirt.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">How did I meet my ex?</span></em></strong> I met my ex-husband in a bar...that should have been my first red flag. He was talking to a friend of mine and when I asked him his name he said he didn't have one. So I said "Well then I'll just call you dickhead." He told me later that he liked that I was spunky and sassy that way. We ended up talking the rest of the night alone in a booth in the corner of the bar and when the bar closed down at 4am we went out to breakfast. Even though he is complete and total tool, I still remember the excitement I had the night we met. That anxious nervousness of meeting someone new that you really liked and just silently hoped and prayed that when you gave him your number...he actually used it.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">Names- Middle names</span></em></strong><br /><br />Jeffrey James (Jeff's Middle name is his Dad's first name)<br />Angela Marie (Marie is after my paternal Grandmother, Marion)<br />Kyle Eric (Eric is a very dear friend of mine that offered to marry me when I got pregnant at 19 with Kyle-I turned him down of course but I thought I would honor him anyway)<br />Casey June (June is Jeff's Maternal Grandmother)<br />**Score EMMA for knowing it's June<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">What do I know or understand now that I didn't with my first child?</span></em></strong> That's easy. That it'll all turn out <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ok</span>. No matter how much I worry. No matter what doesn't get done around the house, no matter how broke I am....it WILL all be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ok</span>. I know NOW that I'm a good Mom despite what guilty feelings I get about whatever I'm feeling. I need to give myself a break and not be so hard on myself.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">My favorite indulgence</span></em></strong>- a pedicure.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">What makes for a wonderful day?</span></em></strong> Getting a nap. Crossing <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">at least</span> 2 things off my "to do" list and making an nice dinner.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">What is my secret to getting through my insane life without going crazy</span></em></strong>? I never said I wasn't a "little" nuts..<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">cuz</span> I am. But how I got through it when I was working. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">CROCKPOT</span>, meal plans and a color coded excel spreadsheet with all of 70 of his baseball games on there so I knew if they were <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">inhouse</span> or travel games and were they home or away games. It was the best way to be sure I had the right uniform clean at the right time. NOW that I'm not working...I make dinner at 10 or 11am when Casey naps and basically do a load of laundry everyday. Usually it's his uniform from the night before and towels or other dark clothes. This way I know...both his different uniforms are always clean. OH..and I've left a clean juice cup, pack of diapers, wipes and snacks in the minivan at all times. This way all I have to pack in the diaper bag is an extra change of clothes, her blanket and her pacifier. If I forget anything else...it's in the van when I pull away.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">What does an average week of dinner's--- Cost or what are they?</span></em></strong><br /><br />I'll show last week since we're out of town this weekend and my menu plan is short.<br /><br />Monday- Tuna/pasta dish with mixed veggies and fat free ranch dressing about $12<br />Tues- Busy day chicken - chicken, cream of mushroom soup, rice and veggie medley mix in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">crockpot</span> about $11<br />Wed- It's like a shepherd's pie. It's basically meatloaf with mashed potatoes and peas on top. Again---around $12<br />Thurs-is always sandwich night. Last week was ham & cheese with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Sunchips</span> about $14 (but the bread and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">sunchips</span> also go to lunches for Kyle and Jeff too)<br />Fri- was ham, corn, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">potato</span>,cheese <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">crockpot</span> casserole about $8.50<br />Sat- We had a coupon for a XL pizza in town for $15 with 2 toppings vs $21 normally.<br />Sun- Mustard potatoes pork casserole with veggies on the side about $14<br /><br />So if I underestimated a little because of ingredients needed..an average week of DINNERS is about $100. I spend about $200-250 twice a month plus another $100 on other produce/milk/bread runs in between. Plus another $100-175 at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Walmart</span> & <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Sams</span> on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">toiletries</span>, detergents, diapers, wipes, etc.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">Favorite Food of each family member:</span></em></strong><br /><br />Casey - right now it's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Pepperidge</span> Farm Goldfish crackers---or cheese<br />Kyle- ANY kind of fruit or Mexican Food<br />Jeff- Bananas or Mexican Food<br />Me- Chips and Salsa and bread...I can't live without bread<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">My favorite breakfast food</span></em></strong>: I'm a muffin person. I'll bake my weight watcher muffin recipes and freeze them. Usually I have a 2 or 3pt muffin and a piece of fruit everyday. Favorite food indulgence when we go out. EGGS BENEDICT. OH my word...<br /><br />Onto questions about Jeff:<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">Boxers/briefs/commando</span></em></strong>:<br /><br />Uh...Jeff wears the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Hanes</span> Boxer Briefs....he likes them better than regular boxers <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">cuz</span> they keep the boys close without getting the CLOSENESS of briefs.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">Color Eyes?</span></em></strong><br />He has the prettiest bright blue eyes I've ever seen.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">My favorite feature or personality trait about him:</span></em></strong><br /><br />I just adore that he can make me laugh at just about anything. I love that he can talk to ANYONE. He really can. He's met people that are just your average Joe kind of people all the way to people that make UPPER six figure salaries..and it just doesn't phase him. He's definitely a people person.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#993399;">His favorite sport?</span></em></strong><br /><br />I'm pretty sure it's football. He loves pretty much most sports, baseball, basketball, football. But I think football is his favorite.<br /><br />There ya go...Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-51861559588083478162007-05-18T05:27:00.001-07:002007-05-18T05:43:29.856-07:00A Spin on the MeMeI see a meme floating around about 8 things about you that maybe you haven't already divulged. Since my weekend feels like I'm hardly going to be home...because<br /><br /><ul><li>Today Kyle has a 1/2 day and I agreed to take he and some friends to a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">skate park</span> almost an hour away, which means I won't get home til about 5:30. Just in time to drive him to batting practice and figure out what to make for dinner.</li><li>Tomorrow morning I volunteered to work at a blood drive for a local kid we know with ALL.</li><li>From there Kyle has a 10:30 game in town. That should be over around 12:30.</li><li>I have to feed him quickly because we have to leave again at 1:45 for his games an hour away. </li><li>Yes I said <strong>GAMES </strong>because he plays travel ball at 3:30 and 5:30 (yes he'll play 3 baseball games in one day)</li><li>Come home and collapse around 8 again...when are we supposed to eat?</li><li>Sunday I have the Cancer Walk in the morning. Straight from there I have to drive an hour or so BACK OUT OF DOWNTOWN CHICAGO (oh the traffic) to yet another baseball game at 3pm, which means I should get home around 6pm on Sunday..to yet again...make dinner.</li></ul><p>So as you can see.....I'm too tired already to think of interesting things about myself.</p><p>How about you guys ask me some questions? </p><ul><li>Anyone have any questions about my dear husband, Jeff? </li><li>What about Kyle?</li><li>My ex-husband?</li><li>My parents? </li></ul><p>Rather than think of 8 really random things ...this seems much more fun... Come one let's have it...and nothing is too "off the wall" or personal, believe me. </p><p>So fire away.....</p>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-47351737971431636372007-05-17T07:12:00.000-07:002007-05-17T07:22:01.814-07:00Stage FrightI'm sitting here killing time before I have to get in the shower.<br /><br />See today...I'm going to a real live "Day Spa" where I get to go and tell another new girl ..how my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">under chin</span> is full of scary, wire like hairs and how they need to come out. I'm not paying $40 for my face to be done only to have to go home again and get out my OWN tweezers.<br /><br />If you can't do a decent job...then I'll find someone else.<br /><br />This is the second place I'm trying since getting laid off. I tried another lady twice. She didn't cut it.<br /><br />Jeff and I happened to be walking through a little courtyard after a nice dinner out last week when I realized there was a cute upscale day spa near our house. So I made an appointment.<br /><br />I'm so intimidated by these places..where all the girls have perfect makeup, perfect clothes, perfect hair. I have no fingernails I bite them..terribly bad. My clothes..well...they leave a little to be desired and my hair..personally done bottle job. <br /><br />If all that isn't bad enough..my feet...basically are <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">FLINTSTONE</span> FEET. They need help. Now they only had a pedicure about 3 weeks ago so they aren't GOD awful..but they need some work too.<br /><br />I just hate sitting there feeling so self-conscious.<br /><br />I have an 11am pedicure and a noon facial waxing appointment.<br /><br />Hopefully I like what they do and don't feel to chicken to go back.<br /><br />When did I suddenly turn back into a overly insecure 8<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">th</span> grader?Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-35001557212952256992007-05-16T05:15:00.001-07:002007-05-16T05:20:51.644-07:00FaithI don't talk very often about religion..here or otherwise.<br /><br />I was born and baptized Catholic. I made my first Communion and my Reconciliation. I was never Confirmed and at the time it had more to do with convenience for my Mother of the CCD classes than my wishes to quit or stop pursuing my sacraments.<br /><br />After my non-confirmation I went to church on average once a month from 14 through 19. At 19 my Priest refused to baptize Kyle. See in 1992 I had broken just about every belief the church had. I'd had premarital sex and while I was doing it...I WAS using birth control. Of course I decided NOT to terminate the pregnancy but that wasn't good enough.<br /><br />That was when I became a non-practicing Catholic.<br /><br />In 2001 Kyle started attending a children's bible study at a Baptist church with a friend. I decided to give it a shot. I went at least 3 times a month, stayed for luncheons, took the beginner's bible study class and got involved.<br /><br />When I asked a friend of ours that was also one of the Youth Pastors at the church to marry Jeff and I outside the church in early 2003 he said yes. A few months later he wasn't sure if he was comfortable marrying Jeff and I. I asked if it was because I was asking to be married OUTSIDE the church. He said that wasn't it. He felt as if Jeff and I weren't EQUALLY YOKED.<br /><br />It isn't as if Jeff has ever said "I don't believe in God." Jeff felt relatively the same as I did. He was raised Catholic but didn't share some of the churches monumental beliefs so he didn't like feeling like a hypocrite. He wasn't sure where he belonged in organized religion but he mostly certainly believes in God.<br /><br />Our friend declined and we ended up getting a non-denominational minister to marry us.<br /><br />4 years later Jeff and I still don't attend a church. It isn't as if we've tried very hard; we've been to a few different churches but it never seems to work out. Somehow we just don't feel comfortable there.<br /><br />Do I believe in God? Bet your ass I do.<br />Does he know I swear? Sure he does.<br />Does he know I had a child out of wedlock? Check.<br />Does he know I lived with Jeff before marriage? Check.<br /><br />God knows everything I've done wrong and yet he continues to bless me every day.<br /><br />He continues to shine the sun on me day after day lighting me up with the warmth of my kids' smiles.<br /><br />He continues to color my world with the beautiful blue eyes of my husband that look on me with the greatest unconditional love I've ever known.<br /><br />He continues to bring sound to the music of my heart when I think of the person I've become through all the trials and tribulations in my life. Maybe I've not always done the "right" things but I've always tried to make the BEST decisions I could with where my life was AT that particular moment.<br /><br />I don't regret many decisions I've made. I'm not ashamed of who I am and I think God can understand that because God isn't perfect either.<br /><br />Sometimes I wonder if there is a heaven or hell. Will I get <em>Left Behind</em>? Will I sit in limbo in my afterlife? Will my kids? I don't know.<br /><br />I only know that I believe in him. I talk to him. I try and do things to show him my appreciation for the blessings he's given me. I pray to him almost daily. Sometimes in the shower, sometimes in my car. Sometimes I go to the most peaceful place I can think of and walk through the woods and praise him for all the beauty that surrounds me. Some days I even curse him when I think he's made a bad decision...but ya know what...who I am to judge whether he did the right or wrong thing?<br /><br />I know that I believe in him and he believes in me.....and that's faith enough for me.Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-52192556632812486962007-05-15T07:46:00.000-07:002007-05-15T07:54:15.778-07:00When the phone rings<ul><li>When the phone rings at 8:50 am you know it isn't going to be good... </li><li>When the phone rings and it's not your son's school with a problem you know it isn't going to be good... </li><li>When the phone rings and it's not a telemarketer you know it isn't going to be good...</li><li>When the phone rings and it's not your Mom calling to chat away her ride to work you know it isn't going to be good... </li></ul><p>However, when the phone rings at 8:50 am the last thing you expect to hear is your Father telling you that your uncle, his brother is dead.<br /><br />My Uncle Mark, age 51 or 52 died of a diabetic complication sometime in the last 2 days at his home. His current girlfriend alerted police after he didn't answer his phone for just over a day. My Dad was told by the police that he was gone after they'd arrived and found his body.<br /><br />My Dad is currently at his brother's home waiting for the crematorium to pick up his body and going through his things.<br /><br />My Uncle has had severe diabetes for as long as I can remember. From what the girlfriend says he wasn't taking care of himself because he was sick on average, twice a week. He hated being restricted on what and when he could eat. He hated giving up alcohol and only stopped drinking about a year ago.<br /><br />Rest in peace Uncle Mark. Hopefully you're in a place where you can eat, drink and be happy.</p>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-70303792147370631462007-05-14T05:59:00.000-07:002007-05-14T06:07:06.591-07:00Time to make a differenceI'm up and moving this morning thinking of all the things I need/want to try and get done this week. <br /><br />That's when it hit me.<br /><br />I'm doing the Chicago Cancer Walk THIS Sunday with my family (with the exception of Kyle since he has baseball).<br /><br />I'm pretty excited about this. More than I thought I'd be. <br /><br />Then I realize I have 2 huge bags of clothes to donate to the Women's Shelter and I also left a bag of canned goods for the Postal Food drive this past Saturday.<br /><br />Just when I think I don't do <em>ANYTHING</em> to make a difference; I realize I do try. They may only be little things but if everyone did a few small things; together they would add up.<br /><br />I am my own worst critic. Always have been.<br /><br />For those of you that have already donated to my cause...THANK YOU SO MUCH.<br /><br />If anyone is interested in sponsoring Casey and I on our walk for Sunday, you can click the links below.<br /><br /><a title="http://www.walkroll.org/site/TR?px=" href="http://www.walkroll.org/site/TR?px=1239701&pg=personal&fr_id=1050&s_tafId=7000" s_tafid="7000" pg="personal&fr_id=">Click here to visit my personal page.</a>If the text above does not appear as a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">clickable</span> link, you can visit the web address:http://www.walkroll.org/site/TR?px=1239701&pg=personal&fr_id=1050&s_<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">tafId</span>=7000<br /><br /><a title="http://www.walkroll.org/site/TR?team_id=" href="http://www.walkroll.org/site/TR?team_id=9910&amp;pg=team&fr_id=1050&s_tafId=7000" s_tafid="7000" pg="team&fr_id=">Click here to view the team page for Team Butler</a>If the text above does not appear as a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">clickable</span> link, you can visit the web address:http://www.walkroll.org/site/TR?team_id=9910&amp;pg=team&fr_id=1050&s_<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">tafId</span>=7000Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-39323109885050926932007-05-11T05:14:00.000-07:002007-05-11T07:16:07.829-07:00On the Same NoteYesterday after a visit with my best friend, Pam (that is in visiting from California) had left with her tiny 11lb, 2 month old son, Tucker; I started thinking about all the things swirling and clogging up the plumbing in my brain.<br /><br />Mostly, it came down to this.<br /><br />Life is gaining momentum as I get older.<br /><br />Remember when we were kids....and even though in our little 8, 9 or 10 year old minds summer "FLEW BY" it didn't. You'd wake every day to play in the hot sun..and the next day seemed a million years away.<br /><br />Well my kids are growing up...and although Casey is getting more independent and her first 2 years have indeed "FLOWN BY" for Jeff and I; it's Kyle I notice more.<br /><br />He'll be gone in just a few short years, off to some college lucky enough to have him, making new friends and starting his "adult" life. The time when he'll start longing for these crazy summers of playing ball, squeezing in the beach and sleepovers with little responsibilities. I think he'll look back and realize that the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">sacrifices</span> he made like giving up camping trips or vacations because of baseball were the right thing to do. He loves baseball, his teams mean everything to him and he's dedicated that way. Sometimes I wonder if he'll regret not having a summer with less commitments. The kind of summer that most adults look back fondly on.<br /><br />It isn't that I want to go BACK and relive my life.<br /><br />I want to start LIVING that kind of life now. Even for the short 30 minutes squeezed in between switching the laundry and starting dinner.<br /><br />So yesterday, I gave it up.<br /><br />I decided Thursday nights are now "Sandwich Night" at our house. I wasn't going to make any dinner. I didn't take anything from the freezer, I didn't put anything in the crock pot. Instead I put Casey down for a nap, took a shower, packed Kyle's uniform for his game and surprised him by picking him up from school.<br /><br />From there I took him out for an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">after school</span> snack. We ended up at an A &W restaurant. He had cheese fries and a float. We started talking...Casey was singing, we were all laughing. The kind of after school excursion I wished MY Mom could/would have ever surprised me with and maybe she did...but if she did...it wasn't frequent enough for me to have any memory of it.<br /><br />Kyle and I talked about how he's been having trouble batting lately and he feels as though his old bat was too light...Did I stop to think<em>..."Where in the heck do I have money for a new bat?" <strong>NOPE</strong> </em><br /><em></em><br />Instead we headed across the street to MC Sports. 40 minutes later he had a new bat. Then we headed to the game. His team lost 8-6 but ya know what...Kyle had 2 huge hits and scored 3 runs. He came off that field beaming from ear to ear..even with the loss.<br /><br />He said..."I'm glad we bought the bat. Can I have HOOTERS for dinner?"<br /><br />A short discussion about how money doesn't grow on trees, etc. ensued but we compromised on hot wings from the local "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">hotdog</span>/burger/gyro" joint that were much cheaper.<br /><br />Again, I threw my normal <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">over planning</span>, control freak habit out the window.<br /><br />Jeff and I had sandwiches and Kyle had hot wings.<br /><br />Does any of this make sense? (Now that I've written a novel?)<br /><br />What I'm trying to say is....I don't make the hour drive to have lunch with my sister. I don't call up and ask my Dad if I can stop by, I don't take time to just leave the house and window shop at the mall on any given Saturday.<br /><br />How many of us do these things?<br /><br /><ul><li>"We'll start hosting game night when we paint the living room/<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">re carpet</span> the hallway/upgrade the bathroom." </li><li>"We'll take that family vacation after we pay off that one credit card."</li><li>"We'll visit the grandparents when the kids stop teething and sleep through the night."</li><li>"We'll start date night after the busy season at work is over."</li></ul><p>Etc..etc...etc...</p><p>Host game night...enjoy your friends. Buy a cheap area rug and trust me as long as you have a WORKING bathroom, your REAL friends aren't going to care what it looks like.</p><p>You don't have to go to away for 14 days. Find a couple hundred bucks, do a little research and take a short weekend camping trip. Find a neat little hotel near a water park. Whatever it is...find ways to make it fun for your kids.</p><p>Grandparents are so important to a child's identity. They are Grandparents because obviously they've had kids at some point. they are going to understand if you have a cranky fussy toddler. I promise. Enjoy them while they are still around.</p><p>Date NIGHT sounds like something you'd "initiate" and start doing on a regular basis..and ya <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">know</span> what sometimes financial and work obligations don't allow for that. Find a night...put the kids to bed, get takeout and sit in a room as far from the children as possible, light some candles, no <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">tv</span>, no answering the phone, no shop talk...just BE together.</p><p>Sometimes we seem to start just going through the motions..and not living life. I think on some level we just think of all of our <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">responsibilities</span> and we get overwhelmed at them and we forget what an enjoyable ride this can be.</p><p>For me, yesterday I realized that I don't want any regrets and the only way to be sure I don't have any is to start living...even the <em>little </em>moments.</p>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-49355692476249960132007-05-10T05:13:00.000-07:002007-05-10T05:21:59.180-07:00The rest will just have to waitIt's no secret that my life has been "eventful" over the last couple of months with Jeff working more hours, losing my job, preparing for the move and the medical situation.<br /><br />Just when it felt like I might be able to come up for air I got a call from my Mom.<br /><br />She ALSO has nodules on her thyroid. Now of course it wasn't enough that Kelly just had to go through the needle aspirations, CAT scans, body scans, surgery, feeling like crap after having to go off her <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">synthroid</span>....but now..it looks as though my Mom could be headed down the same path. Ironic? Not really..she's had thyroid problems almost 18 years and she's already been a cancer survivor almost 7 years...so the doctors are concerned.<br /><br />As I stared around my filthy house that's been neglected for the last week while I was sick...I began to get that "adrenaline/angry I'm gonna clean til I'm exhausted" urge...15 minutes in Casey came over and said "Snuggle Mommy". I sat down and she crawled up on my lap.....<br /><br />We then spent the next hour reading three books, singing every nurse rhyme she knows by heart, counting her fingers and toes, counting my fingers and toes and watching an episode of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Caillou</span>..all while she never left my lap.<br /><br />As I held my little girl I started to think "I have to get that load of laundry in, I have to call the caterer for the party, I have to order that gift card.." and then it hit me..."Whatever ... it will just have to wait."Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-44985746716457271422007-05-09T06:32:00.000-07:002007-05-09T06:44:35.474-07:00Am I NOT a Mother?Honestly really truly...please tell me if I'm nuts...<br /><br />I get "What are we doing for Mother's Day for Mom, for Mary, for MY Mom?" from my sisters and my husband....<br /><br />Has it slipped <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">every one's</span> mind that I MYSELF am a Mother?<br /><br />If 28 hours of natural labor with only a 1/4 dose of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Demerol</span> to squeeze out a 7 lb 14 oz 21 1/2 inch long baby Kyle didn't qualify me...then SURELY having an emergency c-section and losing my eyesight with Casey has to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">at least</span> get me on the list...right?<br /><br />Then WHY is it..that I'm to run all over town finding just the right gifts for my Mom, my step-Mom and Jeff's Mom...then on Mother's Day to see my Mom and my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Step Mom</span>. Do I not get a day to myself? Do I not get a day to enjoy my children?<br /><br />I'm not complaining to the hilt about it...I mean...I want to honor all the Mother's in my life (especially while they are here <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">cuz</span> LORD knows I'd give anything to cater to my Grandmother again--how I miss her) ..but I would just like the same courtesy. EVERY YEAR we're expected to run around on Mother's day doing the visits....not "How about this year we do brunch ON Mother's day and next year we'll get together the weekend before or after Mother's day?"<br /><br />Just ONE Mother's day I'd like to be woken up with burnt breakfast in bed by my kids, get to relax over coffee and have the day to myself to read or take a nap...rather than having to be the first one up to pack the car and rally the troops out of bed to get ready and head out at 10am only to return home at 7pm....just ONCE.<br /><br />This year...my sister-in-law put the ball in motion by saying she had to work a 1/2 day on Mother's Day and when she gets off she wants to go home to her kids..and I jumped right on it and finally gave my opinion about it to my Mom and my sister. "I agree. I would LOVE to do nothing on ACTUAL Mother's Day, just once."<br /><br />So instead of our normal running all day...Saturday afternoon we're having lunch at my Mom's house and then all going to Kyle's baseball game that night at 5pm. So on Mother's day...I told Jeff..."I want to go out for breakfast..and at some point..I want you and Kyle to take Casey for a walk and I want to nap. That's what I want for Mother's day."<br /><br />Score one for the low man on the totem pole.Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-76969821139854668882007-05-04T05:16:00.000-07:002007-05-04T05:21:50.650-07:00Greetings from the "Other Side"Yes...live and back in action...(sort of)<br /><br />Apparently a very nasty ear infection that started just over a week ago has kept me feeling pretty out of it. My right ear is still completely plugged up and it makes me dizzy and when I'm not dizzy my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">meds</span> make me drowsy. I've been pretty flat on my back doing just enough to survive and keep the house from falling down around me for the last week or so. I will read up on every one's blogs later today, promise.<br /><br /><p>In the meantime....<br /></p><ul><li>I was screwed around for 3 days but I did FINALLY receive my severance so things are no longer "tight" and my checkbook is not in REAL danger of bouncing across the street.</li><li>I made my first "call in" to unemployment and am currently awaiting my first check. Hopefully things will go smoother with that than my severance because if I have to actually GO INTO the unemployment office...I'm gonna end up on the 10 o'clock news.</li><li>Jeff started at his new store with his promotion on Monday (so we're looking forward to his first check with the big pay raise on it.) Not that it's enough to keep me home permanently but every little bit does help.</li><li>Jeff and my Dad agreed to coach one of Kyle's baseball teams..so guess who is Team <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">BIOTCH</span> (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cuz</span> Team Mom doesn't seem like the right title with all the work I have to do)</li><li>I took Kyle shopping for his ceremony and graduation dance clothes. He finally decided on nice black slip-on shoes, black pants, a white dress shirt, a purple and black thin striped tie and a black vest. He looks so grown up I can barely stand it. Prices weren't as bad as I thought but did I put that money back into the "budget"? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">LORDY</span> NO... instead bought him another pair of gym shoes (which he needed anyway).</li><li>On his way up the stairs from church last night he fell up and slammed his ankle against the wall...if that damn landlord doesn't fix the light in the hallway, I swear....so I'm currently waiting for him to get out of bed and see if I have to take him for an x-ray. He hurt it pretty bad. I'm fairly certain he didn't break anything but it could be fractured...so I may get to spend my day at the hospital.</li><li>I'm starting to feel better now that I've started the antibiotics but I'm really ready to be able to hear from my right ear...because hearing yourself hiccup, swallow, burp and breathe..just ain't normal.</li></ul>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-41829558418100321712007-04-27T05:53:00.000-07:002007-04-27T06:00:21.534-07:00The Parrot has arrivedIt's to the point now where I REALLY REALLY have to watch what I say....because Casey follows behind me in the house repeating just about everything I say.<br /><br />The most fun has been that she's advancing to 3 syllable words...like her last name. It's kinda funny to hear her say her first, middle and then last name.<br /><br />Here's a list of some new words she's learned in the last 2 weeks:<br /><br /><ul><li><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">fip</span> fops (flip-flops)</li><li><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">reedlickis</span> (ridiculous)</li><li>hi-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">strecl</span> (hysterical)</li><li><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">unbeeweebble</span> (unbelievable)</li></ul><p>The funniest thing is that I've really tried to stop saying shit or the F bomb... so I just say </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size:180%;color:#993399;">UN-REAL</span></p><p>(a lot)</p><p> </p><p>Because now when she can't reach something or she drops something..you hear in her tiny 2 yr old voice from the other room.</p><p> </p><p>"UN-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">WEEL</span>"</p><p> </p><p>I am the greatest Mother in the world.</p>Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4981367349000796788.post-84598291330709751552007-04-25T07:43:00.000-07:002007-04-25T08:33:30.269-07:00Odd One OutSometimes I feel like the only person that isn't getting the butt of all the jokes..(maybe because I am the joke, who knows?)<br /><br />I can have a dry sense of humor..but I'm not as bad as Mr. Roper from "Three's Company" or anything. Jeez. Clue a girl in.<br /><br />I had a conversation yesterday with one of our friends. Now this is a friend of Jeff's, he's the same age as we are and he has 2 boys that are 7 and 4.<br /><br />The conversation usually goes something along the lines of :<br /><ul><li>How are you?</li><li>How are the kids?</li><li>What's new?</li><li>How's work?</li></ul><p>All the typical pleasantries before I usually pass the phone off to Jeff and leave the room because honestly; I don't need to hear them compare the sizes of the private parts in terms of who is winning this week in FANTASY BASEBALL..no-really; not so much.</p><p>However, on this particular day Jeff wasn't home so our friend and I continued on past our normal pleasantries.</p><p>He began telling me he bought a season pass to the Milwaukee Zoo that he's going to share with his ex-wife, asking me about my time home, about the move, about Kyle and baseball and talking about a mutual friend that will be moving to Detroit at the end of the month.</p><p>Then the conversation turned a little defensive. (Now let me preface this with saying that this guy and I have butted heads several times over the years and I've learned to really just ignore half of what he says for the sake of his friendship with Jeff)</p>He goes on to say "You and Jeff should really find 2 days to come up to Milwaukee. We'll take the boys to the zoo, maybe go to a Brewers Game. Either a Sun/ Mon or Mon/Tues before August and then I'll come down with the boys in August after you move."<br /><br />Now don't get me wrong...I don't care if our entire family invites themselves to our house..but when I said "Dave I just don't see how that is going to be possible. Jeff is requesting so many days to not work...because of graduation and stuff that I don't see him getting a request for another couple of days between now and July because July is just out of the question with baseball. July is when all the tournaments start."<br /><br />His next response is what knocked me right over.<br /><br />"Well you've left Kyle behind before, couldn't you come without Kyle."<br /><br />"Dave-it's not about coming WITHOUT Kyle..it's about not seeing Kyle's games-TOURNAMENT games. I don't want to miss any of his games."<br /><br />"Well Angie, your life can't revolve around Kyle's baseball games."<br /><br />"Dave, you don't understand yet because your aren't playing sports. What will you do if they play sports?"<br /><br />"I don't know but I can't imagine turning into that psycho that does nothing but cater to their kids."<br /><br /><em>CATER TO MY KIDS?</em><br /><em></em><br />I don't cater to my kids. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ok</span>...well maybe I do a little...but ya know what..Jeff and I look forward to baseball season EVERY year. We LOVE to watch him play, we love to hang out with the parents we've been playing with since the kids were 8----we LOVE baseball. I don't go to the games because I HAVE TO or SHOULD (I still don't get the parents that drop their kids off and drive away...what if they get hurt...sure they are 14 but really now) I go to baseball because I WANT TO. I LOVE to watch him play, I LOVE to be outside.<br /><br />All of "our" friends and I say "our" because none of these are OUR friends..they're all Jeff's friends from college and their wives..but they all have kids 7 or younger and expect us to just jump up on a Thurs and come to their house for the weekend. We can't do it.<br /><br />So I just feel like no one understands us and I wonder what we must look like to them. I hate that I care what they think..but I tried NOT to ya know...JUMP down Jeff's throat without a parachute when we got home from baseball last night. Funny that I would have this conversation on a day that Kyle actually had a game.<br /><br />We get home and Jeff says "that was fun tonight." I said "Yes, it was..maybe you could explain that to Dave" and I proceeded to tell him about our conversation.<br /><br />Jeff tried to play Devil's advocate saying "Dave just wants to spend time with us, he doesn't think before he says some things."<br /><br />"and ya know what ...that's fine..but to call me a psycho that caters to her children... as if I'm supposed to dump MY son to go up there and spend time with HIS kids?? How does that make sense? We're the only ones with a teenager...he has ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE how fast his boys are gonna grow up, how fast it goes, HOW much you should grab onto this time when the kids are playing ball and how you can be a part of that. I will NOT apologize for enjoying <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">watching</span> Kyle play ball, nor will I apologize enjoying sitting around with the other Moms and Dads talking about graduation, teacher issues, directions to games, umpires from last week or the difficulty in planning a graduation party with our crazy schedules..because ya know what....THEY get it, They understand, they love it as much as we do. Most of them know exactly how long before it's all over and how precious it is. I am NOT going to explain myself to Dave."<br /><br />Jeff just shook his head and apologized for what...I'm not sure.<br /><br />I just feel very sad because 3 other sets of friends will get together and do things on weekends and most of the time we can't go...so I feel like MY son, is tying Jeff down and keeping him from hanging with his friends...and when I said that to Jeff....he got up with tears in his eyes and left the room.<br /><br />I'm not sure if those tears were because I was RIGHT or I was VERY WRONG...but he went to bed..and again..I sat there in the living room by myself...feeling like the Odd One Out.Brown Eyed Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588211946379344668noreply@blogger.com15