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Hair 101 and Other Necessities

Hair 101 and other necessities is not a Daddy's First Love

Now this whole “Mommy” thing; I love it.

However, sometimes with Jeff and the “Daddy” thing, I wonder if the jury is still out on that.

Jeff is unsure of ability to be a good Daddy to a little girl.The whole baseball, football, video game, talking about girls thing with Kyle; he’s got that. No sweat.

The young princess of the house, however, has her Father totally baffled and frightened.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s got the diaper thing down to a science. Bath time, no prob. He’s even getting better at picking out outfits that ACTUALLY match, which isn’t bad considering she’ll be 2.

There is just one area he’ll totally admits scares the crap out of him.

Hair-dos. Mostly what he does is a hair–don’t but lately I’ve begun threatening him.

See my husband thinks little girls with long hair are adorable. Casey’s is finally getting fun. It’s finally getting long on top and in the back. When you pull it off her face the shorter pieces have gotten long enough that they don't just stand straight up. However, with long hair comes the responsibility to take care of it.

I keep trying to explain that to my BALD husband. He just has selective hearing or whatever. "Time? Dime? Wine? What did you say? LALALALALA I can't hear you.”

Lately when I pick Casey up from the sitter her hair is just kind of sitting in her eyes. She was bald headed for so long and then all of a sudden it was there. She hasn’t had a haircut yet. I keep saying it’s time and Jeff keeps wincing as if I’m discussing removing one of his family jewels. It’s just a haircut, right? Not to Jeff.

Since I have the luxury of leaving for work at 5am, Jeff takes Casey to daycare every morning. Can you imagine how many times a week he actually does her hair?

If you guessed 5 out of 5 please ship me any hallucinogen drugs you’re ingesting. Send them COD even because I need to be on that stuff too.

If you guessed 3 out of 5, you ‘re a "glass is half-full" kind of person, aren’t you?

If you guessed ZERO out of 5 well then you’ve met my husband.

Tuesday night was the final straw for me. I walked into our sitter and she a wad of gum stuck to the side of her hair. Not a HUGE wad you see and it was easily picked, pulled and peanut butter slid out of her hair. However, I threatened one last time.

“Either you attend Mommy’s Hair 101 tonight or she goes for a haircut this weekend.”

The look of “You Think You GOT me on that don’t you WOMAN, I’ll tell you something..ok never mind” on his face said it all.

“O-K. When?”

“Right after her tubby.” **Casey from across the living room** “TUBBY? SHOWER? WATER?” As she runs towards us trying to yank her clothes off.

20 minutes later she’s bathed, dressed in jammies and sitting on our bed.

Now for the last week or so I’ve been putting her hair in 2 mini half-pigtails.

As I begin to say “Now honey…”

He breaks in “If you think I can do that early hot school girl Brittney Spears or Princess Leia stuff….no dice my friend, she’ll have no hair left cuz I’ll end up pulling it out and then where will we BE, when our daughter is bald because you forced me to do her hair. HMMM?"

"Jeff, you must CHILL. This is not that hard. Can you count to 3?”

“Bite me.”

“Nice, nice manners. Do you want her to start saying that?”

“OK, Ok sorry.”

LOL we start laughing and then Casey starts this big phony laugh, which only made us laugh more.

I told him to get a chair. I sat her between my legs with her back to my chest and told him to stand behind me looking over me. I grabbed the comb and said “Brush once over the left ear -ONE, once from the center by her bangs- TWO and once from the right ear-THREE. Now you grab the rubber band and pull it around until it’s tight. Usually with this amount of hair 3 or 4 times is good. Then you tighten it a little and brush the bottom back hair a couple times and you’re done.”

Showing him the baby. “See? What do you think Casey?”

She reached her hand up to her head. “Pretty!”

Then I removed the rubber band and made him attempt to do it. A lot of squirming around and he never actually got it in her hair..and this is what her hair looked like.

Then I said “Now when you get comfortable with that, I’ll teach the piggies.”

He said…”Wait…is this a six week course or what? Two piggies seems way more like Hair VO5 or Hair 505 or whatever and ya know what…3 years from now; one day I’ll be finishing up her hair to drive her to daycare and she’s gonna look in the mirror and say Mommy does it better anyway, so what’s the difference?”

“The difference is you should know how to at least ATTEMPT it. What if something happens to me?”

“Well then I’ll just have to remarry someone that knows how to do hair.”

My response…
“Fine. Your grade for today D+. You know what happens when you fail hair 101, right?”

He started laughing hysterically and pointing at his BALD head and said…

“Yeah, you end up like THIS!”

Anyone want to trade husbands for a few days?

Clearly he needs some time to PERFECT the cuteness that is the
pigtails on this child.


Blogger M said...

Lord help me she's outrageously adorable with piggies.

Hair is the one thing that traumatizes me with Josh and Lily as well. Perhaps when the time comes Jeff can play big brother and give him the whole FABULOUS course. ;)

If you're shipping things you know you can ship her to me annnnnnnny time. I won't decline that package and I'll park it on the porch until it arrives. ;)

March 15, 2007 at 7:46 AM  
Blogger Amy W said...

Totally want to eat your daughter up, that's how cute she is!!

I have had the SAME conversation MULTIPLE times in my house. Ray gets the girls ready as well. And now that I am growing Ashley's bangs out?

If I hear "it's hard to put a rubber band in hair" one more time...

March 15, 2007 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger HeatherAnn Fragglehead said...

I agree. Doing girls' hair sucks. But it simply has to be done if it's going to be long.

I wrestle every day with long, thick, wavy, down-to-the-waist Bean hair. When she complains, I tell her we can cut it, and she always pipes down at that point.

March 15, 2007 at 9:45 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I love that last pic with her nose all scrunched up. Adorable! Chris doesn't do hair so well either and I've given up on trying to teach him. He has to be at work at 7am and so when my stepdaughter is with us, he takes her to his parents house and then his dad takes her to daycare (why don't I you ask? yeah, I don't know). The teachers at the daycare end up redoing her hair every time! When she's in school I don't know what's gonna happen. Hopefully she will learn quick how to do her own hair.

March 15, 2007 at 10:00 AM  
Blogger Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Too Funny!

Yay, Jeff!

March 15, 2007 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger Gerbil said...

Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!!!

March 15, 2007 at 10:13 AM  
Blogger Kellie said...

HaHa--LOVE the scrunched up nose picture!!

Jimmy has done Morgan's hair ONCE. It actually looked like it does when I did it. Sadly, the girl child will NOT leave anything in her hair for more than 3 minutes.


March 15, 2007 at 11:24 AM  
Blogger That Chick Over There said...

It is impossible to make her any cuter than she already is. No matter what Jeff does or doesn't do. :)

Tell him I got his back on this one. Probably because I can't do hair to save my life!

March 15, 2007 at 12:57 PM  
Blogger Catwoman said...


The adorableness of that girl with pigtails! GAAAAAH!

Too much! Monitor melting from the cuteness of it all! Hubby must learn to do pigtails so she can look like this every day! You must make him take extra credit to graduate early.

March 15, 2007 at 1:50 PM  
Blogger Bethany said...

Angie, can you come give me lessons? Cause I suck at this hair thing. Thank God I have a 16 year old obsessed with hair or the young one would always look awful!

Off topic but I thought of you last night. I saw a commercial for Cialis and the first thing that popped into my mind was "There surely can't be any FUN in THAT dysFUNction."

I think I may be insane.

March 15, 2007 at 7:38 PM  
Blogger Dawn~a~Bon said...

Hey That Chick, don't you have a shirt just like that pink stripey one Casey's wearing in the next to last pic? You're like, twins and stuff! LOL

She's just beautiful!! Don't let Jeff shave her head!

March 15, 2007 at 8:32 PM  
Blogger CPA Mom said...

At least he attempts. No way HP will even try to brush Eeyore's hair.

TOTALLY cutes pics. I put one of them up on my post today. Go see!

March 16, 2007 at 6:04 AM  
Blogger velocibadgergirl said...


I think I just ovulated. I blame the pigtails.

March 16, 2007 at 9:09 AM  
Blogger SJ said...

She's soooo freaking cute!

This hair thing really had me laughing, I mean I have boys, but yeah, I could totally see me and my husband going through this too.

Funny stuff.

March 16, 2007 at 12:34 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Man..those pig tails are so dang cute I could eat them!!

March 17, 2007 at 6:01 PM  
Blogger frannie said...

the pigtails?- adorable!!!

March 19, 2007 at 8:16 AM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

Tooooo weird, Neil and I went through the exact same course, except from the reverse end. Removing Piggies 101.

He failed, by the way.

Love the picture of her sucking her lips in...too cute.

March 20, 2007 at 2:30 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

Very funny. And what a delicious looking little girl. Did you dip her in chocolate before you swallowed her whole?

March 21, 2007 at 2:49 PM  

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