Welcome to My Life of Organized Chaos Where Crazy Eventually Catches up to you!

4/25/07

Odd One Out

Sometimes I feel like the only person that isn't getting the butt of all the jokes..(maybe because I am the joke, who knows?)

I can have a dry sense of humor..but I'm not as bad as Mr. Roper from "Three's Company" or anything. Jeez. Clue a girl in.

I had a conversation yesterday with one of our friends. Now this is a friend of Jeff's, he's the same age as we are and he has 2 boys that are 7 and 4.

The conversation usually goes something along the lines of :
  • How are you?
  • How are the kids?
  • What's new?
  • How's work?

All the typical pleasantries before I usually pass the phone off to Jeff and leave the room because honestly; I don't need to hear them compare the sizes of the private parts in terms of who is winning this week in FANTASY BASEBALL..no-really; not so much.

However, on this particular day Jeff wasn't home so our friend and I continued on past our normal pleasantries.

He began telling me he bought a season pass to the Milwaukee Zoo that he's going to share with his ex-wife, asking me about my time home, about the move, about Kyle and baseball and talking about a mutual friend that will be moving to Detroit at the end of the month.

Then the conversation turned a little defensive. (Now let me preface this with saying that this guy and I have butted heads several times over the years and I've learned to really just ignore half of what he says for the sake of his friendship with Jeff)

He goes on to say "You and Jeff should really find 2 days to come up to Milwaukee. We'll take the boys to the zoo, maybe go to a Brewers Game. Either a Sun/ Mon or Mon/Tues before August and then I'll come down with the boys in August after you move."

Now don't get me wrong...I don't care if our entire family invites themselves to our house..but when I said "Dave I just don't see how that is going to be possible. Jeff is requesting so many days to not work...because of graduation and stuff that I don't see him getting a request for another couple of days between now and July because July is just out of the question with baseball. July is when all the tournaments start."

His next response is what knocked me right over.

"Well you've left Kyle behind before, couldn't you come without Kyle."

"Dave-it's not about coming WITHOUT Kyle..it's about not seeing Kyle's games-TOURNAMENT games. I don't want to miss any of his games."

"Well Angie, your life can't revolve around Kyle's baseball games."

"Dave, you don't understand yet because your aren't playing sports. What will you do if they play sports?"

"I don't know but I can't imagine turning into that psycho that does nothing but cater to their kids."

CATER TO MY KIDS?

I don't cater to my kids. Ok...well maybe I do a little...but ya know what..Jeff and I look forward to baseball season EVERY year. We LOVE to watch him play, we love to hang out with the parents we've been playing with since the kids were 8----we LOVE baseball. I don't go to the games because I HAVE TO or SHOULD (I still don't get the parents that drop their kids off and drive away...what if they get hurt...sure they are 14 but really now) I go to baseball because I WANT TO. I LOVE to watch him play, I LOVE to be outside.

All of "our" friends and I say "our" because none of these are OUR friends..they're all Jeff's friends from college and their wives..but they all have kids 7 or younger and expect us to just jump up on a Thurs and come to their house for the weekend. We can't do it.

So I just feel like no one understands us and I wonder what we must look like to them. I hate that I care what they think..but I tried NOT to ya know...JUMP down Jeff's throat without a parachute when we got home from baseball last night. Funny that I would have this conversation on a day that Kyle actually had a game.

We get home and Jeff says "that was fun tonight." I said "Yes, it was..maybe you could explain that to Dave" and I proceeded to tell him about our conversation.

Jeff tried to play Devil's advocate saying "Dave just wants to spend time with us, he doesn't think before he says some things."

"and ya know what ...that's fine..but to call me a psycho that caters to her children... as if I'm supposed to dump MY son to go up there and spend time with HIS kids?? How does that make sense? We're the only ones with a teenager...he has ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE how fast his boys are gonna grow up, how fast it goes, HOW much you should grab onto this time when the kids are playing ball and how you can be a part of that. I will NOT apologize for enjoying watching Kyle play ball, nor will I apologize enjoying sitting around with the other Moms and Dads talking about graduation, teacher issues, directions to games, umpires from last week or the difficulty in planning a graduation party with our crazy schedules..because ya know what....THEY get it, They understand, they love it as much as we do. Most of them know exactly how long before it's all over and how precious it is. I am NOT going to explain myself to Dave."

Jeff just shook his head and apologized for what...I'm not sure.

I just feel very sad because 3 other sets of friends will get together and do things on weekends and most of the time we can't go...so I feel like MY son, is tying Jeff down and keeping him from hanging with his friends...and when I said that to Jeff....he got up with tears in his eyes and left the room.

I'm not sure if those tears were because I was RIGHT or I was VERY WRONG...but he went to bed..and again..I sat there in the living room by myself...feeling like the Odd One Out.

15 Comments:

Blogger velocibadgergirl said...

From what I've witnessed and heard from you on other occasions, Kyle is as much Jeff's kid as Casey is...my guess is it sort of made him sad that you'd worry that he'd regret having Kyle around. :(

Other than that, I'm guessing this is the famous Dave of the Squeezy persuasion, and if so you KNOW he just don't act right half the time.

**HUGS**

April 25, 2007 at 8:56 AM  
Blogger That Chick Over There said...

I think that guy is just a tool.

He does not act right.

And you don't CATER to your kids. It's not like you quit your job to watch Kyle play baseball for God's sake. It's not like you have Casey in Miss Baby America pageants and spend all day making her false baby teeth so she can smile pretty for the camera. (She's probably win, but still) You love your kids and you are INTERESTED in them and their lives.

Which makes you: HELLO? A good mom!

Screw that guy.

April 25, 2007 at 9:07 AM  
Blogger M said...

I agree with G-homie.

I also agree with S-homie.

Clearly I have no original thoughts because those two are quicker and better.

But seriously? You were all right. Squeezy was all wrong. And Jeff was just stuck in a tender heart moment.

You kick ass as a mom. What you're doing, and have done, is why Kyle is so amazing. If more parents 'catered' to their kids the way you do we'd have less psycho losers. Funny how parenting these days you're only allowed to be obsessive freak or neglectful ass. Heaven forbid you find the happy medium!

xoxoxoxo

April 25, 2007 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

Family first, babe. Always family first. Just because this Dave guy has his priorities screwed up doesn't mean you should question yours. Sounds like you and Jeff need to clarify some feeling though, that's always kind of awkward, but it feels so good after. ~big hugs~

April 25, 2007 at 9:38 AM  
Blogger Kellie said...

I agree that Jeff thinks of Kyle as his own child. I'm sorry you feel this way. I don't think you cater to your children. And? If you do, so what!! You're their MOM and you said it best....this time goes by so fast and it IS all about them right now. You're a great Mom and planning time to do things with other friends around Kyle's ball schedule is another indication of how much your children mean to you.

:)

April 25, 2007 at 9:38 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

Dave will get it one day - until then don't let his comments bother you.

April 25, 2007 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger CPA Mom said...

"psycho that does nothing but cater to their kids" - oh hell no, he did NOT say that. Chick is right on. A tool. A big dumb tool. You are the greatest Mom and Jeff is the greatest Dad. They are your kids. Your lives SHOULD revolve around them. Well, you know what I mean.

Now, you saying "YOUR son" is tying down Jeff - I can see why he cried. I love you so I know I can tell you that. You have spoken before how much Jeff loves Kyle. His feelings were hurt because Kyle is HIS son too. You know that, you were just hurting too.

All will be well - just a little time is needed. And to stay far, far away from the asshat named Dave.

April 25, 2007 at 12:06 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

From everything I've ever read on your blog, I would have to say you were Very Wrong. I don't think Jeff thinks about things that way. It's normal for you to feel that way sometimes, but Jeff loves Kyle as if he were his own. I know it's hard to remember that.

If Jeff's friends have a problem with it then they are not his true friends.

April 25, 2007 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger Bethany said...

Late to the party, as usual. I agree with everyone else.

I hate to say it but I think you were wrong. From everything you have ever said, Jeff loves that boy like his own.

I know the whole teenager thing and it is VERY different than a 4-7 year old. Lots more driving for one thing.

April 25, 2007 at 7:53 PM  
Blogger SJ said...

That guy Dave just sounds selfish and self-centered. I agree with everyone else, he's a tool.

Jeff loves Kyle. You love Kyle. Kyle loves you and Jeff. The End.

April 25, 2007 at 8:34 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Wow. Your hubby's friend is a total jackass. You are supporting your son. You being at his games tells him you think he's important. Geez. I'd like to know what his ex-wife thinks of stuff like that.... Maybe that's why he's divorced.

April 26, 2007 at 9:29 AM  
Blogger Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Wow. There's not much to say that hasn't already been said.

Ready to hear something from a step-dad?

You are a family. All of you.
According to what you've written before, the term "step" is not used in your home. Jeff got stabbed in the heart, and it hurt. Deeply.

Jeff is Kyle's dad.
Jeff is Kyle's friend.
Jeff is Kyle's mentor, protector, provider, etc.....
Jeff is Kyle's FATHER!!

That's the way he sees it.
That's why those words spoken during the "intense discussion" hurt so much.

He cried and walked away. He said nothing. Do you know why?

Because he loves you so freaking much, that's why!

Sorry if this sounded harsh or preachy. Now, go kiss and make up.

You may not need to say anything. The look in your eyes should say it all. I'm sure he'll hear you loud and clear too.

Blessings to you.

Oh yeah, one last thing.....

It is soooo easy to just Hang - Up - The - Phone!

April 26, 2007 at 9:42 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

I have read this twice. Twice my mouth has fallen open. Just hang up the phone on that jerk. He doesn't deserve the energy put forth to be angry/hurt by his douchebagger self.

April 27, 2007 at 4:26 AM  
Blogger frannie said...

oh, honey! I am so sorry.

first of all- who the hell are you supposed to cater to? the kids next door?

gee- I thought people were supposed to spend time with their kids. I guess I'm one of those physcos or something.

and I think the tears were because you were wrong. Kyle is his kid, too. just because he didn't donate the sperm doesn't change that.

April 29, 2007 at 5:43 AM  
Blogger Gerbil said...

Squeezy defies comprehension, you know that. He ain't nothing but a thang... and an unremarkable one at that.

May 2, 2007 at 9:20 PM  

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