Welcome to My Life of Organized Chaos Where Crazy Eventually Catches up to you!

1/11/07

What's that song again?

What’s that song again?

Anyone have THAT song?

A song that takes you back to a place in time
A song that’s lyrics are so vividly connected to a memory
Lyrics so poignant they make you cry about a moment even years later

Music is funny that way….

For me…this happened recently.

I mean I hear songs and they take me back to the summer I graduated high school or a song I listened to with a bunch of girls the winter I got my license. Mostly they are happy memories.

Recently I heard a song about my first love. For some women this came in their teens…or even in college. Me, I was 27 the first time I fell in love. I didn’t know it at the time but once that relationship was over I realized that I had never really LOVED my first husband. Maybe at 22 I was playing house. Who knows? But when my first marriage ended…I don’t remember feeling much. However, what I did learn in the summer of 2001 when I was breaking up with this boyfriend was that I had fallen in love for the very first time and now it was over. I was 28, divorced with an 8 yr old son and I’d just broken up with my first love.

Lucky for me I was full of emotion but anger helped me overcome my sorrow. Being angry while getting over a relationship is so helpful. However, eventually you go through the spectrum of emotions and somehow come out on the other end. Sometimes feeling better to have loved and lost; than not at all. Although I was glad that I’d met him and loved him, I was still overcome by pity for him because what happened between us wasn’t about US breaking up. It was HIM not being able to handle the level of commitment we had. He was afraid to settle down, afraid of giving up the things he loved. Afraid I would have him walking an aisle in a year. He was 31 when we broke up.

I’ve kept in touch with some of the people still in his circle and nearly 6 years later he’s still not married. A mutual friend said he’s starting to freak out now about turning 37 and still being single. Part of me feels sorry for him and part of me doesn’t. I tried everything to get him to open up to me and talk about what direction was best for us. I never pushed much on him and he had many freedoms he was so afraid he’d lose.

That is until he cheated on me.

After that I tried to hang on, suggesting counseling, begged, pleaded and made a complete fool of myself. For another 4 months. Eventually I ended it realizing it would never be the same. Some years later I realized that I felt sorry for him because he blew one of the best things that ever happened to him and he didn’t even realize it.

Then about a month ago a song came on the radio….I listened intently and realized it was all the things I would love to say to him now.

I received the CD for Christmas..and although I’m happily married and adore my husband when I listen to THIS song, I still cry. That’s how real the song is, it’s so strong it puts me right back there.



Stupid Boy – Keith Urban


Well she was precious like a flower

She grew wild, wild but innocent

A perfect prayer in a desperate hour

She was everything beautiful and different

Stupid boy…you can’t fence that in

Stupid boy…it’s like holdin’ back the wind

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands

And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans

She never even knew she had a choice

And that’s what happens when the only voice

She hears is telling her she can’t

Stupid boy Stupid boy

So what made you think you could take a life

And just push it, push it around

I guess to build yourself up so high

You had to take her and break her down

Well she laid her heart and soul right in your hands

And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans

She never even knew she had a choice

And that’s what happens when the only voice

She hears is telling her she can’t

You stupid boy You always had to be right

And now you lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive

I’m the same old, same old stupid boy

It took awhile for her to figure out she could run

But when she did, she was long gone, long gone

2 Comments:

Blogger CPA Mom said...

I just heard that song last night and boy would I love to play it for my ex-husband. Sometimes men can be SO DUMB. Thanks for sharing.

January 11, 2007 at 7:07 AM  
Blogger That Chick Over There said...

I've never heard that but it applies to a number of people I know.

January 11, 2007 at 12:04 PM  

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