My Sister, My Friend (and other tidbits)

The day began simple enough, for the first time in forever I got a decent night sleep to MYSELF. See I slept at my Mom's. No husband snoring in my ear. No toddler crying out in the night.

So I got a good night sleep.

Upon waking up my Mother informed me that she had nothing in the house to eat and we were going out for breakfast. Then she treated me to a pedicure while she got her nails done. THEN after our relaxing morning, we headed to the hospital for our very long day.

We got the hospital around noon and after much waiting they finally took my sister in to surgery around 2:30pm. This began a VERY LONG WAIT, the doctor finally came out around 5:15pm to tell us:

• That the surgery went well.
• They managed to keep the vocal chord intact.
• She has a 2nd scar because they couldn't use the scar from her other neck surgery.
• There were "many" nodules on the thyroid.
• We won't have the pathology back for a week but once we know how MANY positives we have;
• We can see if she's still a candidate for radioactive iodine.
• She's in recovery for at least another hour and then they'll come get us.

At 6:30 we still had not heard from anyone.

At 7pm they told us they were "cleaning a room" for her and she'd be ready to go shortly.

At 8pm they finally came to get us.

A few minutes later my sister was wheeled out. She'd never looked so pale. Suddenly I began to feel EXTREMELY MORTAL.

We got to ride the elevator with her but by the time they let us in her room to see her it was almost 8:30pm.

While standing in the hallway I realized something.

This "kid" (my sister is 30) means everything to me. She is the reason I remember who I am.

I started to cry, right there in the hallway with my Mom and Dad. My parents that have been divorced since 1978 ( I think) so nearly 30 years; they united together and both tried to comfort me as I cried.

I said it out loud "That girl in there is the reason I remember I'm me."

My Dad looked puzzled "I don't remind you of who you are?"

"Sure Dad there of course is always some identity tied to your parents but yes, SHE reminds me who I am."

Again now both my parents are looking at me as if I'm suddenly speaking in a foreign tongue.

"I DO NOT HAVE A SINGLE CHILDHOOD MEMORY WITHOUT HER IN IT."

Not one. She's the one that would go swimming with me across town, the one I stayed up nights giggling with, the one I confided all my crushes to. She is the one that used to bring me my "sick tray" (you know those old flimsy aluminum trays) with soup and crackers and a can of 7up when I would get sick. She's the voice I heard outside my hospital room door when I was delivering my son, she's the first one I called when I found out I had to deliver Casey 10 weeks early. This is MY sister. Nothing feels like it happens if I don't tell Kelly.

When they finally let us in the room, I remember thinking..."I'm not going to work tomorrow because I'm going to stay here and feed her ice chips all night if necessary."

I hugged and loved on her and she did ask for ice chips. I fed them to her. She asked me to help her put her nose ring back in, she asked me to put her toe ring back on, she whispered about her cell phone. After about 10 minutes she said "Angie, go home and see your Bubba." It was like the heavens opened up when she could actually speak above a whisper. It was so good to hear her voice. I was so relieved.

See Kyle was leaving today at noon for a 2 night snow trip. She knew if I didn't get home soon I wouldn't see him awake before he left today since I leave for work at 5am.

I said "Only if you promise to take a pain med and get some rest."

She whispered to me..."Always the big sister huh? I will."

So I left...and proceeded to try and get home by 9:30pm.

As I drove home crying and thinking about what my life would be like if at 34 or 35 I lose her to some God awful cancer that started in her thyroid and spread I couldn't help but think about how lucky I am to have a sister only 3 years younger than me. My thoughts drifted to my own kids and their nearly 13 year age difference. I thought they might not have what I did with Kelly but they still had each other and to me..that made them lucky enough in their own right.

Of course I got within 20 minutes of home and I got pulled over by a State Trooper, which was a very funny episode but I don't feel very funny now so I'll save that for another time.

For now I'll just say a little thank you that her vocal chord is intact and she came through the surgery fine. For now I'll say a few small prayers and wishes that the pathology all comes back benign because beyond that I can't think about what might happen if it's not. Not right now anyway.