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Tuesday Tribulations

I know I mentioned last week that the day of my sister’s surgery was just all out craziness.

Nothing was crazier than the ride home.

See because we were waiting SO long to see my sister, the dinner hour came and went without anyone having anything. So when I left the hospital at almost 9pm, I was hungry. With little between the hospital and the highway, what’s a girl to do? Two Words for ya, FAST FOOD. I drove through the land of over 1 BILLION served and grabbed something disgustingly greasy from the dollar menu and a coke.

As I driving and am nearly more than half way home so about 30 minutes I notice a car come flying up on my right hand side and then “float” is the only way to put it between the left lane and the middle lane behind me. I’m in the middle lane so I just keep a close eye on it. A few seconds later the car is beside me again just keeping pace with me. It’s then I realize it is an Illinois State Trooper. Another minute later the car slows down and drops behind me in my lane. Whatever. Fine. I had seen so many cars pulled over during the first half of my ride I slowed down. I was hovering right around 60mph. I was not about to get a ticket and was doing 60 LONG before this guy drops into my lane.

About a ½ mile down the road his lights go on. “He can’t possibly be pulling ME over, what did I do?” I pull over nonetheless. I lean over and roll down the window on the passenger side. “Hello Miss, we pulled you over tonight because you weren’t wearing your seat belt?”

“What? *pulling on it because I can only lean over so far to that side of the car* Sure I am, I never drive without it.”

“Oh you are? Well let me go back and check with my partner to be sure he didn’t see you JUST put it on as I was walking to your vehicle.”

*he walks away and I’m ready to just jump out of my skin*

Upon walking back up does he say he’s SORRY that he was wrong..no he says:
Ok Ma am, well do you have your license and insurance card.”

“Here is my license but I do not have my insurance card with me. I took it to work to fax to our house insurance agent and I left it at work and I wasn’t at work today but I have the last 3. I’ve had that carrier since 2001.”

“Let me run this.” Again he walks away.

He walks back up and says “Here you are, let me check some things out.”

He then goes to the front of my car to be sure both my headlights are working I assume…or making sure my license plates match. Walks to the back of my car, looks at my plate and then walks back to the window.

Maybe assuming if I got to talking I would SOUND drunk…I don’t know but he asks:

“So where were you coming from? You’re an awfully long way from home.”

Now he acts as though I’m 100 miles from home. I’m 20 minutes from my house.

“Uh, I was at Edwards Hospital in Naperville. My sister had surgery there today at 2 and I’m just now getting home.”

“I see, I see. WHICH WAY did you come from Naperville?”

Maybe thinking I’m lying about where I came from..clearly I’m lost because I didn’t pass through a crack neighborhood or anything.

“Uh let’s see, I came out of the parking lot and turned right onto Washington St, from Washington I went left onto 75th street, then I went to a side street to go to McDonald’s. From there I went BACK to 75th street and got on 355 East to 55 North to 294 South and here I am. In 20 minutes I’ll get off at Torrence Ave. North and be home in another ¼ mile.”

CLEARLY I’m pissed and my passive-aggressive answer is pissing off Mr. State Trooper.

“Well do you realize your license tag expires on Wed?”

“I’m sorry is it March 1st already? I was unaware. Yes, I have the new sticker at HOME on the top of my fridge. I was going to put it on---on Sat..yes..Sat. would be the 24th correct?”

“Well that’s good. Now just watch your speed and be careful merging back into traffic.”

Here are just some other random ramblings:

  • Today is now DAY 2 of not being able to hear out my right ear.
  • I have come to the decision that all movies must have a real plot. I have rented a few of those movies where they are nothing more than character studies. I just get to the end of the movie and I’m irritated. My life is too complicated so I like “tidy endings”. I don’t like when movies just E-N-D. I watched one for 2 hours last night and when it was over, I wanted my 2 hours back.
  • I have to find an unknown amount of yardage for upholstery fabric to make new cushion covers for the couch I am getting from my Mom. Why? You ask. Because my Mother lets the dog stay in the living room and the dog chewed holes in both bills and a third on the big chair.
  • I’ve restarted my weight watchers and I’m grumpy from lack of being able to eat whatever I damn well please.
  • Lastly, diamondstripperprincess is still the high bidder on that lamp I want but her only feedback is 2 negative comments. So my evil hope is that she bails out on the lamp and the seller contacts me for my last high bid OR it gets relisted.

How sad is it that diamondstripperprincess is still bugging me on Tuesday?

Edited at 3:10pm CST

What's HYSTERICALLY funny about the cop harassment? This was like uber "nerdy" cop dude. The one that watched COPS on TV way too much and decided it didn't matter that he was a big geek and weighed about a BUCK-O-FIVE soaking wet, if they gave him a gun and a badge he'd be one of the cool kids.

Seriously, he might have been 5 foot 5 inches, 150lbs so if I'd had to get out of the car I would have been able to kick this guy's ass into next year considering I'm 5 inches taller than him and outweigh him by at least 100 lbs.

So truthfully I was more annoyed than harassed by it all cuz it was so damn laughable.


Blogger wopalockapino said...

So if I follow those directions it'll put me within a 1/4 mile of your house? Cool! I'll be there shortly!

Here in MI if you don't have your insurance/registration on you, you get hit with a fine and another fee called the Driver Responsibility Fee. The fee was 200.00 the first year and 200.00 the next year. I just paid my first year. It's going to piss me off to pay it again next year.

February 27, 2007 at 6:27 AM  
Blogger Brown Eyed Girl said...

Well I had about 9 other insurance cards with me...just not the one that said 8-24-06 thru 2-24-07 but I could go all the way back to 2002 so I think he cut me a break knowing I could produce the valid insurance card when I got home.

February 27, 2007 at 7:16 AM  
Blogger Tamsyn said...

Heh. Methinks that somebody had a monthly quota of fines to make up, and was trying his damnedest to pin you on something. Sucks to be you, officer...

February 27, 2007 at 7:57 AM  
Blogger Amy W said...

Seriously? The cops did that? They had to have been bored...

What's up with the hearing in your right ear?

February 27, 2007 at 8:21 AM  
Blogger Brown Eyed Girl said...

I've been "snotty" how's that ...for about a week.

When I blow my nose that much...I tend to get "plugged up" on my right side because it's compromised from my surgery 10 years ago to have a tumor removed behind my ear.

So if I get an ear infection..usually the right ear, plugged up, usually the right ear.

It just takes a while for it to eventually unplug itself.

February 27, 2007 at 8:26 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

If I didn't tell you it was pumpkin bread you would never know. Sneaky thing those cushaw pumpkins. ;-)


February 27, 2007 at 9:04 AM  
Blogger CPA Mom said...

That is just plain harassment. Remind me not to come back to Illinois.

What's this? Angie talking about her pumpkin bread?

My right ear is my worst ear and most prone to infection too.

February 27, 2007 at 9:51 AM  
Blogger SJ said...

Hmmm, sounds like harassment to me, and too they must have had some end of the month quota to fufill. Those bastards, how dare they! I hate bad boy law enforcers.

February 27, 2007 at 12:05 PM  
Blogger M said...

Personally the edited portion about the idea of you beating down the cop made the whole store all the more enjoyable. I'm so glad I read it post edit. Pre edit my instinct would've been to grumble at the meanie butt head and applaud your passive aggressive go fuck yourself goodness.

Next time flash your boobies and take off. What a nit wit. Good cod.

February 27, 2007 at 2:28 PM  
Blogger Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

You just reminded me to put my insurance card IN the truck!

Thank you!

February 27, 2007 at 3:04 PM  
Blogger Kellie said...

Your geek cop reminds me of a little snot that pulled me over a while back. I'm 5'7" and weigh 135 and I could have kicked his ass into next year, too :)

February 27, 2007 at 3:19 PM  
Blogger That Chick Over There said...

This totally sounds like something that would happen to me.

February 27, 2007 at 3:52 PM  
Blogger Bethany said...

What a dumbass.
In NJ if you don't have all of your paperwork with you they kill you. Not really but they do fine you $180 per item missing.

February 27, 2007 at 5:30 PM  
Blogger Gerbil said...

Could he have tried any harder to find SOMEthing to cite you for? Jeebus.

February 27, 2007 at 5:36 PM  

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