I'm lucky sometimes that I CAN think...
So SJ at All The Jones men nominated me for one of those (kinda creepy looking fetus ) Thinking Blog Awards. Thank you, now I feel like one of the cool kids.
How sad is it that a grown woman of 34 kept reading the other women from her blog roll seeing they were nominated and then getting disappointed when no one nominated her. I'm embarrassed to admit I was disappointed. I know the blog has sucked the last 2 weeks or so...with just mundane crap rather than anything really heartfelt or meaningful. Life ya know? What are you gonna do?
Anyway, I'm supposed to link you to Thinking Blog Awards .
I'm also supposed to nominate 5 people that make me think whenever I read their blogs. If you look to the right..my blogroll is very small comparatively. Most of these women have already passed the torch and I'm not sure I'd have 5 TO actually nominate.
So I will do something very different....right now I'm very "relationship oriented" vs "kid oriented" so here goes:
5 Questions to Make You think
1) Do you consider it cheating if you start to have FREQUENT fantasies about someone besides your partner?
2) If your partner were the one having the fantasies would you want to know about them?
3) You just found out that your very best friend is embezzling money from her employer to pay for medical expenses of a sick family member, do you turn her in?
4) Are you or your partner always the "fixer" your relationship? How do these roles get formed?
5) Do you believe that friendships between men and women are a good idea? Do you have any that your partner feels uncomfortable about?
Lastly, as I was reading what SJ wrote about me:
Put the FUN in DysFUNctional. As soon as I started reading, I couldn’t stop. Again, she talks about life and her children and more recently her issues with work. Reading all of that brought all my ‘lay-off’ memories back and even though she’s okay with it, I totally wasn’t. You heard me right; she’s totally OK with getting laid off. You go girl! And besides all that she’s sweet and fun and helpful. And it makes me think and reminds me that I’m grateful to know a blogging friend like her.
I began to think of my pending layoff again. It's amazing to me how just mentioning something very "everyday life" that is happening to me touches other people. The most profound example I have is Stephanie and her dealing with the prematurity of the twins. I never knew my discussing it so honestly helped her come to grips with her own feelings. Now I know about a less than happy time when SJ got laid off and was clearly unhappy about.
A year ago this layoff would have landed me on medication. A year ago I was the breadwinner, I carried all the EXPENSIVE health benefits for me, Jeff and Casey. Jeff wasn't making real money and unemployment wouldn't even have paid the bills. What a difference a year makes, huh?
This layoff simply put...oh..what's that old cliche? "Timing is everything"
With my move, the fact that I didn't want to commute to the city anymore, that I need some time off to be with my kids, that I would have been looking by mid-May for a new job closer to home ANYWAY, why not let them pay me 100% for 6 weeks and then collect unemployment. It's nothing personal. I would have survived the cut for probably another year but I volunteered.
The one thing I am most sad about is that I am in constant contact with a very very dear friend of mine via email all day. See That Chick and I ...we can be slackers sometimes. Sometimes we'll email 100 times in a day. She is the one person I never knew I could have in my life. I can't tell you how many times we've helped each other through some serious business. I know if I need her, she's never more than an email away. Being at home all day I won't be sitting staring at a computer screen all day..and a big part of me is scared. What if we lose what we have? Are we THAT kind of friends? The kind that has to be in constant contact with each other otherwise we lose touch. Sweet Lord I hope not. I don't think so but the sinking feeling that's hovered around me since I began to think of how my life will change with this layoff, I finally tied to that. I can't lose her. I'm planning a trip to go and meet her now that I will have time. I can't wait to spend time with her, Jason, the kids and Ginger. She is the best friend I always wanted. I mean I've morbidly had fleeting thoughts of my life without my family or my husband and kids. Ya know the silly "What Ifs". But have you EVER thought about what your life would really be like without your closest friends?
I did..and my life was a much darker place that I didn't like one bit.
So there...there's my thinking blog for today.
How sad is it that a grown woman of 34 kept reading the other women from her blog roll seeing they were nominated and then getting disappointed when no one nominated her. I'm embarrassed to admit I was disappointed. I know the blog has sucked the last 2 weeks or so...with just mundane crap rather than anything really heartfelt or meaningful. Life ya know? What are you gonna do?
Anyway, I'm supposed to link you to Thinking Blog Awards .
I'm also supposed to nominate 5 people that make me think whenever I read their blogs. If you look to the right..my blogroll is very small comparatively. Most of these women have already passed the torch and I'm not sure I'd have 5 TO actually nominate.
So I will do something very different....right now I'm very "relationship oriented" vs "kid oriented" so here goes:
5 Questions to Make You think
1) Do you consider it cheating if you start to have FREQUENT fantasies about someone besides your partner?
2) If your partner were the one having the fantasies would you want to know about them?
3) You just found out that your very best friend is embezzling money from her employer to pay for medical expenses of a sick family member, do you turn her in?
4) Are you or your partner always the "fixer" your relationship? How do these roles get formed?
5) Do you believe that friendships between men and women are a good idea? Do you have any that your partner feels uncomfortable about?
Lastly, as I was reading what SJ wrote about me:
Put the FUN in DysFUNctional. As soon as I started reading, I couldn’t stop. Again, she talks about life and her children and more recently her issues with work. Reading all of that brought all my ‘lay-off’ memories back and even though she’s okay with it, I totally wasn’t. You heard me right; she’s totally OK with getting laid off. You go girl! And besides all that she’s sweet and fun and helpful. And it makes me think and reminds me that I’m grateful to know a blogging friend like her.
I began to think of my pending layoff again. It's amazing to me how just mentioning something very "everyday life" that is happening to me touches other people. The most profound example I have is Stephanie and her dealing with the prematurity of the twins. I never knew my discussing it so honestly helped her come to grips with her own feelings. Now I know about a less than happy time when SJ got laid off and was clearly unhappy about.
A year ago this layoff would have landed me on medication. A year ago I was the breadwinner, I carried all the EXPENSIVE health benefits for me, Jeff and Casey. Jeff wasn't making real money and unemployment wouldn't even have paid the bills. What a difference a year makes, huh?
This layoff simply put...oh..what's that old cliche? "Timing is everything"
With my move, the fact that I didn't want to commute to the city anymore, that I need some time off to be with my kids, that I would have been looking by mid-May for a new job closer to home ANYWAY, why not let them pay me 100% for 6 weeks and then collect unemployment. It's nothing personal. I would have survived the cut for probably another year but I volunteered.
The one thing I am most sad about is that I am in constant contact with a very very dear friend of mine via email all day. See That Chick and I ...we can be slackers sometimes. Sometimes we'll email 100 times in a day. She is the one person I never knew I could have in my life. I can't tell you how many times we've helped each other through some serious business. I know if I need her, she's never more than an email away. Being at home all day I won't be sitting staring at a computer screen all day..and a big part of me is scared. What if we lose what we have? Are we THAT kind of friends? The kind that has to be in constant contact with each other otherwise we lose touch. Sweet Lord I hope not. I don't think so but the sinking feeling that's hovered around me since I began to think of how my life will change with this layoff, I finally tied to that. I can't lose her. I'm planning a trip to go and meet her now that I will have time. I can't wait to spend time with her, Jason, the kids and Ginger. She is the best friend I always wanted. I mean I've morbidly had fleeting thoughts of my life without my family or my husband and kids. Ya know the silly "What Ifs". But have you EVER thought about what your life would really be like without your closest friends?
I did..and my life was a much darker place that I didn't like one bit.
So there...there's my thinking blog for today.
posted by Brown Eyed Girl at
5:14 AM
10 Comments:
a lot to think about... SJ's getting her nominations worth out of you!
I'm going to answer your questions silently, I think.
You and that Chick will have to post about the get together. Good fodder for the blog machine.
Oh crap...Frannie...I didn't mean for anyone to answer the questions here...necessarily.
People can if they want to...but no, mostly they were for personal consideration.
Now I will post my ridiculously long response. :) First of all, I'll answer your questions:
1) Do you consider it cheating if you start to have FREQUENT fantasies about someone besides your partner?
No. I don't consider it cheating unless their is an emotional or physical connection.
2) If your partner were the one having the fantasies would you want to know about them?
Um, probably not.
3) You just found out that your very best friend is embezzling money from her employer to pay for medical expenses of a sick family member, do you turn her in?
No, I probably wouldn't. I would probably encourage her to stop it though.
4) Are you or your partner always the "fixer" your relationship? How do these roles get formed?
Jason is the fixer. He wants to make everything better. I suck at that.
5) Do you believe that friendships between men and women are a good idea? Do you have any that your partner feels uncomfortable about?
I think they can be, yes. Some of my best friends are men. I have one co-worker, who is a superior, who calls me periodically just to chat. There is no romantic notion between us whatsoever. We're just buddies.
My husband is not uncomfortable with any of my friendships, but he does tease me about them. If he WERE, I would have to think twice about them, because he is far more important to me than any friends.
Secondly, YOU CAN'T LOSE ME THAT EASILY.
Thirdly (is that even a word?): I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOU TO COME VISIT!
I totally didn't accidentally leave my caps on. I was shouting on purpose! :)
Also, because apparently I can't shut up today, I try not to think about my life without my closest friends. Because it would just suck. And I don't like sucky things.
That is also why I try really hard to keep up with my friends and make a real, sincere effort to stay in contact. Even though my life is sort of a tornado most of the time.
Ok, even though we don't have to answer them here, I'm gonna!
1) Do you consider it cheating if you start to have FREQUENT fantasies about someone besides your partner?
Not unless he or she acts on them, physically or emotionally.
2) If your partner were the one having the fantasies would you want to know about them?
No, I don't think I would. I think it would create a trust and a self-esteem issue for me.
3) You just found out that your very best friend is embezzling money from her employer to pay for medical expenses of a sick family member, do you turn her in?
Oh, wow! I could answer yes or no to this, but I cannot honestly say what I would do unless this situation actually presented itself to me.
4) Are you or your partner always the "fixer" your relationship? How do these roles get formed?
I think we both are. If I do or say something stupid or hurtful, I try to acknowledge it and apologize and Chris does the same. As for how the roles get formed, I don't know, I think it's different for every relationship.
5) Do you believe that friendships between men and women are a good idea? Do you have any that your partner feels uncomfortable about?
I think they can be a great idea. If you are having a problem with your husband or boyfriend, you can go to said friend and get a guy's perspective on it. I don't have any myself so there is nothing to be uncomfortable about. My hubby has a very close friend that is a girl and it has never bothered me.
Wow. You have lots on your mind.
Sorry I didn't contact you. We were only in Chicago Sat night through Monday afternoon and we had our weekend packed with stuff we wanted to do. But definitely next time I will let you know!
Also, we got those city passes. (AWESOME). But we didn't use the passes to the Museum of Science and Industry. They have the COOLEST exhibits! Would you guys want the tickets for that museum. Its the only one we didn't get to do due to Seth's ear... But three free passes and you don't have to wait in the "commoners" line. :-)
If you'd like, I can send them to you. Just drop me a line in the comments of my blog and I can send you an e-mail and get your address that way. K?
I just hate the see the tickets go to waste.
Talk about thinking...oi...what a nasty thing to do to a person with a pounding headache. =P
p.s. in all honesty, thought of nominating you instead of some of the others I chose, but figured you were way more widely read than them and would get an award from someone else whereas they might not. And I might not have been the only one who thought along those lines. And I would've been sad if I hadn't gotten one a secretly embittered against all my friends who did. It's a tricky thing, isn't it?
Wow, yet again you made me think! And hard! I wish I could be there when you meet up with Chick. I really do...
I am so envious of you and Chick. You're both very lucky, and you're both fantastic people.
And am I the only fecking blogger not nominated for that award? I think my love of memes must disqualify me!
Congrats, babe!! I ran out of freakin' nominations, but I knew you'd get one. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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