Welcome to My Life of Organized Chaos Where Crazy Eventually Catches up to you!

1/17/07

My Oprah Debut

Emma asked about my Oprah Debut.

Well I was 18 at the time. I know we taped the show in April but it aired May 1, 1991. 4 weeks before my high school graduation, 2 weeks before my senior prom and even though I'd attempted to keep it quiet..my entire school knew about it. All 3,000 students. Every TV in the AV department had been signed up for use, people taped it at home and a few kids even brought in those small black and white counter top TVs to class if their teachers hadn't been able to get a TV to watch.

::cue music::

"Today's Show will be about Parents That Allow Their Children to have SEX in their home."

That's right.

Me, my 36 year old Mother and my 15 year old sister were on the stage. The entire time. We were the first guests. (Now this is back when Oprah had the different format and the whole show was about one thing). So there I sat for basically 45 minutes.

Now in the audience set up at different microphone stages she had a family from Florida where the Mom allows her teenage son to have sex in the home and another set of parents that allow their 16 yr old daughter to have sex with her boyfriend.

Oprah's people were also smart in that they gave about 100 tickets for the show to 2 local high schools so that there were teachers and students there...(presumably to balance the argument).

After the first break a woman was brought on the stage with my family. She said she told her daughter to abstain. She commanded her daughter to abstain. She said if you tell your kids not to do it, they won't. (not sure which bubble she lived in...but I bet it was nice). She believed that sex should only be shared within the confines of marriage and that if you teach your kids from an early age not to have sex they won't. She was convinced her 22 yr old daughter hadn't done it and her 20 year old son was still a virgin. Maybe they were....and I don't knock her for trying it either...especially if it worked..but when I was ready to do it..nothing my Mom taught me could have prevented me from doing it.

Anyway, after much yelling and discussions with her...she basically tried to light my Mom up as this awful parent for allowing us to do it at ALL much less in her house. My Mom fired back with "That isn't the point..the point of the show is they are ALREADY doing it....I just want them as safe as possible if they are going to do it. Having this discussion with them opens up other discussions about birth control, multiple partners and other things. " My Mom told the story of being parked out in the back woods in high school herself..NOT having sex..just a major half-dressed make out session with a boyfriend when a copy pulled up and made them both stand half-naked in the headlights while he ran the boyfriend's plate and license...basically humiliating them and scaring the shit of out my Mom. She also spoke of her best friend from high school that was nearly raped in a forest preserve one night when she and her boyfriend were doing it and 3 drunk guys walking in the woods found them. The guys stood watching, wouldn't leave and started to get physical with her boyfriend when the Sheriff's patrol pulled up..otherwise she might have been raped. My Mom's argument was.....if they are doing it...doing it in their own bed..I know they are safe and I can keep tabs on the boys they date and I know..they are only in ear shot of someone else home should they choose to NOT want to proceed.

After another break a woman came on for our side saying it's NOT for everyone..most kids don't want to have sex when their parents are home...they want their privacy...but knowing they won't get caught and get into trouble allows kids that DO have emotions connected to their partners the opportunity to express them rather than a quick romp at a party with screaming teenagers outside the door. Her argument was that sex in teenagers was becoming less and less about intimacy and that these kids would carry it into adulthood and then pass that on to their kids...where if kids had quieter locations, more communication with parents and more time to connect...fewer of them were actually having sex with their partners EVERY time they were together. It was back to taking on that "special" quality.

More arguments from the crazy "tell them NOT to do it and they won't. You're a bad parent" lady..

Then one last guest was brought out..another lady teaching girls to abstain. She was a born again virgin after a date rape situation. She was kind of in the middle. She wanted girls to abstain so that when they were older and decided to do it..it would be for the right reasons. However, she believed in the "allowing kids to have their partners in their rooms" because she was date raped at the boy's house when no one was home because her parents wouldn't allow her to have anyone in their house and doors always had to be open to the bedroom or family room at all times...so rather than be at her house to "make out" they went to his and it went too far.

Basically, I talked a lot about my sex life, which was funny because by the time it aired, I didn't have one. My serious high school boyfriend and I had broken up about 6 months before the show and I didn't even have a real date for my prom. I had been sexually active nearly 3 years when it aired and I'd already had 3 partners. 2 fairly close together and then a long dry spell. Then my serious boyfriend for a year. Then another dry spell.

That summer...everywhere my sister and I went together you could see people's mouths shape in the "O" for Oprah....the beach, the mini-golf place...you name it.

So that was my 15 minutes of fame.

Oh and for Bethany...since I'm answering my "numbers" comments.

By the time I was 20 I'd had (and I'm a little ashamed to admit it) lost my virginity 5 years earlier. I'd had my share of partners....and I'd had a child. The first time I had REALLY good sex..I was 20...almost 21 with the groomsman from my Uncle's wedding. He was 27, which was the first time I'd been with someone significantly older than me...so that might have something to do with it. It was just a fling..but it opened my eyes up to realizing that sex didn't have to suck.

So there it is....

How's that for TMI???

9 Comments:

Blogger Amy W said...

Now I can say I "know" someone who was on Oprah...

When do you leave for Disney?

January 17, 2007 at 6:59 AM  
Blogger Brown Eyed Girl said...

We leave for Disney on the 27th and return late on the 3rd.

I'm so excited.

January 17, 2007 at 7:11 AM  
Blogger M said...

The Oprah story never ceases to amuse me. Though as a parent now it horrifies me to remind me THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO CONSIDER! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

p.s. I know you deserve and need the Disney trip but *sob* I'm gonna miss you!

January 17, 2007 at 7:49 AM  
Blogger Bethany said...

I had no idea you were famous!

Not only did you have great sex ten years before me but you are going to Disney before me (hopefully not ten years before)- I'm jealous!

January 17, 2007 at 11:27 AM  
Blogger CPA Mom said...

You know what? Maybe we should plan a trip to DISNEY to all meet up. Maybe in 2008?

(this is me, totally ignoring the topic at hand, whistling to ignore the thought of my children having sex, and zeroing right in on the comment by bethany)

January 17, 2007 at 11:36 AM  
Blogger Brown Eyed Girl said...

There is no way I can back in 2008 to Disney.

This trip could finance the downpayment for our house..for goodness sake.

Even if we went cheapy-cheapy $82 a night lodging..it would still be too expensive for me to take the kids back.

Not to mention Oct. 2008 I'm trying to plan a trip for just hubby and I for our 5th anniversary.

January 17, 2007 at 11:37 AM  
Blogger velocibadgergirl said...

Dude, I thought you were on Sally Jessy! Oprah's so darn respectable!

January 17, 2007 at 9:18 PM  
Blogger That Chick Over There said...

See I REMEMBER seeing that show. I remember it vividly and I had no idea who you were at the time. The really religious girl...it seems like she had long brown hair and was wearing a red sweater.

January 18, 2007 at 5:40 AM  
Blogger Emma in Canada said...

Hmm...I don't remember that show. As a teenager I always had sex at my bf's house. His dad even saw me half naked. Ah, memories.

Some 16 years later, I'm not sure that I want my daughter doing it in my house, but I don't want her out in the field, another place frequented by teenage Emma.

January 19, 2007 at 3:29 PM  

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