Welcome to My Life of Organized Chaos Where Crazy Eventually Catches up to you!

1/25/07

He could suck the romance out of a chick flick

I swear to frogs..my dear husband, Jeff is a romantic person when he wants to be. However, the other 99.9% of the time...he has this incredible knack for ruining every romantic moment a married couple with 2 kids might have.

Like today....we're discussing our vacation and what needs to be done, etc. Conversation was most do this, do that, your Mom this, my sister that when the conversation then took this lovely wacky ass turn.

A: "Well we have XX of money for trip, plus Kelly is gonna see my Mom tonight and she's giving XX for my birthday so we can add that to the trip money."

J: "Well what about MY birthday it's next Friday while we're there ya know."

A: "Right honey, I'm your wife but I had no idea it was your b-day next week. Honest. How could I be so forgetful. My Mom said she'd thrown more in if you wanted cash for your b-day so I told her yes. Ok?"

J: "Oh....cool."

A: "Do you realize tomorrow is the 5 year anniversary of the first time we saw each other, our first date, wh-----" being cut off by the "bowchickabowbow, bowchickabowbow" porno circa 1970 music starts and my husband says...

J:" You mean the first time....you saw the love muscle, the thunderbolt, Herman the One Eyed Wonder Weasel that's right I tapped it on our first date."

A: "You just couldn't let that romantic moment last longer that 2.2 seconds could you. No, clearly YOU couldn't. So instead of celebrating 5 years of togetherness, you totally turned it to sex and point out that you married an easy whore. That's just lovely."

J: "Well honey...at least you're my easy whore."

Honestly with love and devotion like that....

I tell you there is not a jury in the world that would convict me.

10 Comments:

Blogger That Chick Over There said...

But your HIS whore!

See, that makes all the difference!

January 25, 2007 at 12:55 PM  
Blogger Bethany said...

Not Guilty.

January 25, 2007 at 7:04 PM  
Blogger wopalockapino said...

That's okay, the first time my husband met me I was doing his best friend/roomate.

January 25, 2007 at 8:05 PM  
Blogger Emma in Canada said...

I don't know what to say after reading that last comment. All I know is I must read that blog.

I did the same. As you I mean, not Wopalockapino. Not sure what I would do if he said the same to me. I'll try it out in April, when we hit 4 years.

January 25, 2007 at 11:14 PM  
Blogger CPA Mom said...

I would let you go free in a heartbeat.

"bowchickabowbow, bowchickabowbow"-if I had a nickel for everytime my husband made that noise, I'd be rich and you and I would BOTH be on trial.

January 26, 2007 at 6:41 AM  
Blogger Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Jeff's Birthday is next Friday?
Cool. So is mine.

Unlike some other guys, I do not try to turn conversations towards sex.
My wife thinks I'm a stud.
One look at me and she says, "Oooo...Baby!"

Life is good.

January 26, 2007 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I'm so glad I read that before I left work for the day. LMAO!

January 26, 2007 at 2:55 PM  
Blogger Kellie said...

Hmmm...wondering if your man and mine are distantly related? Mine is the same way...

January 26, 2007 at 4:28 PM  
Blogger Tamsyn said...

Hey, maybe he could get you a T-shirt saying that for Valentine's Day!

(I saw my husband's on the first date too. Maybe they should put that in those 'How to Catch a Man' books?)

January 27, 2007 at 4:51 AM  
Blogger Amy W said...

I'm still jealous about your trip...can I go?

January 29, 2007 at 10:34 AM  

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