He could suck the romance out of a chick flick
I swear to frogs..my dear husband, Jeff is a romantic person when he wants to be. However, the other 99.9% of the time...he has this incredible knack for ruining every romantic moment a married couple with 2 kids might have.
Like today....we're discussing our vacation and what needs to be done, etc. Conversation was most do this, do that, your Mom this, my sister that when the conversation then took this lovely wacky ass turn.
A: "Well we have XX of money for trip, plus Kelly is gonna see my Mom tonight and she's giving XX for my birthday so we can add that to the trip money."
J: "Well what about MY birthday it's next Friday while we're there ya know."
A: "Right honey, I'm your wife but I had no idea it was your b-day next week. Honest. How could I be so forgetful. My Mom said she'd thrown more in if you wanted cash for your b-day so I told her yes. Ok?"
J: "Oh....cool."
A: "Do you realize tomorrow is the 5 year anniversary of the first time we saw each other, our first date, wh-----" being cut off by the "bowchickabowbow, bowchickabowbow" porno circa 1970 music starts and my husband says...
J:" You mean the first time....you saw the love muscle, the thunderbolt, Herman the One Eyed Wonder Weasel that's right I tapped it on our first date."
A: "You just couldn't let that romantic moment last longer that 2.2 seconds could you. No, clearly YOU couldn't. So instead of celebrating 5 years of togetherness, you totally turned it to sex and point out that you married an easy whore. That's just lovely."
J: "Well honey...at least you're my easy whore."
Honestly with love and devotion like that....
I tell you there is not a jury in the world that would convict me.
Like today....we're discussing our vacation and what needs to be done, etc. Conversation was most do this, do that, your Mom this, my sister that when the conversation then took this lovely wacky ass turn.
A: "Well we have XX of money for trip, plus Kelly is gonna see my Mom tonight and she's giving XX for my birthday so we can add that to the trip money."
J: "Well what about MY birthday it's next Friday while we're there ya know."
A: "Right honey, I'm your wife but I had no idea it was your b-day next week. Honest. How could I be so forgetful. My Mom said she'd thrown more in if you wanted cash for your b-day so I told her yes. Ok?"
J: "Oh....cool."
A: "Do you realize tomorrow is the 5 year anniversary of the first time we saw each other, our first date, wh-----" being cut off by the "bowchickabowbow, bowchickabowbow" porno circa 1970 music starts and my husband says...
J:" You mean the first time....you saw the love muscle, the thunderbolt, Herman the One Eyed Wonder Weasel that's right I tapped it on our first date."
A: "You just couldn't let that romantic moment last longer that 2.2 seconds could you. No, clearly YOU couldn't. So instead of celebrating 5 years of togetherness, you totally turned it to sex and point out that you married an easy whore. That's just lovely."
J: "Well honey...at least you're my easy whore."
Honestly with love and devotion like that....
I tell you there is not a jury in the world that would convict me.
posted by Brown Eyed Girl at
12:38 PM
8 Comments:
But your HIS whore!
See, that makes all the difference!
Not Guilty.
That's okay, the first time my husband met me I was doing his best friend/roomate.
I don't know what to say after reading that last comment. All I know is I must read that blog.
I did the same. As you I mean, not Wopalockapino. Not sure what I would do if he said the same to me. I'll try it out in April, when we hit 4 years.
Jeff's Birthday is next Friday?
Cool. So is mine.
Unlike some other guys, I do not try to turn conversations towards sex.
My wife thinks I'm a stud.
One look at me and she says, "Oooo...Baby!"
Life is good.
I'm so glad I read that before I left work for the day. LMAO!
Hey, maybe he could get you a T-shirt saying that for Valentine's Day!
(I saw my husband's on the first date too. Maybe they should put that in those 'How to Catch a Man' books?)
I'm still jealous about your trip...can I go?
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