Welcome to My Life of Organized Chaos Where Crazy Eventually Catches up to you!


Are you the hot girl?

Think about how you answer that question now.

Yesterday I ran out to get one of my favorite lunches (because knowing you aren't going to be working near this place after next week, you want to enjoy it while you can. The day they put one of these restaurants in the suburbs I'll be a happy camper.) and I end up walking just ahead of a group of 3 guys.

I can hear their entire conversation.

I hear one guy say to the other "So then she comes STOMPING into the living room saying why can't I wear just anything I want and I said well I only ever see you in sweats anymore, I mean you're hardly the hot girl I met."

I nearly turned around and said.."And I'm SURE you're the dreamboat from the romance novel she ONCE met years ago too, asshole." but I didn't. I kept walking for the short 1/2 block and the other guys are chiming in and agreeing "Yeah and you don't even have kids yet. Think about when that happens. Most women use that as an excuse to just let themselves go."

So here I am thinking..."Am I a hot girl?" Are any of you? It's totally ok to admit that you are. I myself was never by society's standards a HOT girl. Never. I was pretty enough but in my day blonde, blue eyed and single digit dress sizes were the hot girls. The minute you became a junior size 12 or 14..then no.

Now to Jeff; I was totally HOT when he met me. To him, (thankfully) I'm STILL hot. Do I have my days where my boobs hang to my waistband and my hair looks like it's been stuck in that half-assed bun for days without washing, sure. Some days I even get a few monster zits that I won't cover with makeup. I'm hot I tell you. However, most of the time I dress business to business casual during the day. Weekends I'm usually a sweater and jeans kind of girl but I will wear a nice blouse..and I very rarely go out without showering, doing my hair and makeup. Again, an occasional Saturday morning running of errands sometimes gets me a face wash, tooth brush, hair in the pony tail with track pants and t-shirt..but for the most part I leave the house presentable. Even if I didn't leave the house like that and stayed home all day (which I'm ABOUT to do) and was in track pants 5 out of 7 and the other 2 in my PJs, Jeff would still see my beauty. Why?

Cuz I didn't marry an asshole.

Finally as I'm walking I go to hit the revolving doors to my office building. I turned to look back and I saw the guy that was speaking. Average build, definite pot belly (probably beer belly), balding with really bad acne scars wearing jeans and polo with tennis shoes. This guy talked as though he worked in a suit at the Board of Trade and his wife was just this lump of a frump woman.

So of course when Jeff got home last night I had to ask.

"Honey, am I still the hot girl you met?"

"Uh....is this one of those questions I'm gonna get in trouble no matter what I say cuz I'm too tired to play that game today."

"No, just honesty." Then I proceeded to tell him the story.

"Well no you aren't. You've had a baby. Your body changed. Some days I'm just grateful you brushed your teeth but YES..when we're going out...you always look hot. I still know that I can't keep my hands off you and I love you more now than I did when I first met you because of your insides not your outsides. We have kids. We have jobs. No one can look 100% perfect 100% of the time. It's just not realistic. That guy was kidding himself if he thought his wife's appearance would never change. I mean I'm sure after a long week and we're going to run errands you'd like to see me in something other than track pants and a jersey or t-shirt but that's what I'm comfortable in. I don't expect you to be perfect. I expected you to change because I changed..and I would hate to think you thought less of me because of the way I'd changed."

Then he came over and gave me such a tender kiss....I felt like we'd just started dating again. To be able to feel that way over 5 years later....was like heaven.

So no, Jeff isn't perfect. He weighs about 40 lbs more than when I met him. We're both older. Sometimes I have to BEG him to wear anything OTHER than a t-shirt when we're going out to dinner. Sometimes he indulges me, other times not.

Last night I thanked God for Jeff's imperfections because him having his own makes him a little more tolerant and accepting of mine.


Blogger Julie said...

Sounds like that asshole had no room to complain about his wife's hot factor! What a sweet husband you have! And I'm with you, I was never hot and certainly don't feel hot after two kids. My husband is lucky to see me in non-sweatpants most days. Although he's usually in them as well so I guess we're a well paired, non-hot couple! : )

April 4, 2007 at 9:24 AM  
Blogger velocibadgergirl said...

Me? No. Not hardly.

But my husband is very good about loving me the way I am and supporting me on days when I just don't like the way I look. He always says "I'm no stud, either!" (Which I don't think is entirely true, but bless his heart anyway.)

April 4, 2007 at 9:31 AM  
Blogger Bethany said...

Can your husband PLEASE call my husband and give him some tips?

Obviously I am no longer hot- unless you're into lumberjacks. I need to reconnect with my girly side.

April 4, 2007 at 11:40 AM  
Blogger HeatherAnn Fragglehead said...

I think I went through a period of time after I, uh, blossomed, finally, after I had Bean where I think I was the hot girl. I was probably the hot girl when we got married even though I'm so hard on myself I never would've believed it anyway.

Now I have days when I might be the hot girl. Sometimes. But usually my hair is a mess, make-up is questionable, and you'd never even know half the time that there is, in fact, a woman's body (somewhat flat in places where it shouldn't be, but a woman's body nonetheless) under my clothes.

Thankfully Steve just sees all of this as an excuse to be lazy on those days, too, and doesn't berate me for it. :)

Jeff is a doll. Absolutely. I think you guys are awesome.

April 4, 2007 at 2:35 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

I loved this post...on so many different levels.

I've been smiling in memory of it all day an' just had to say.

April 4, 2007 at 3:53 PM  
Blogger frannie said...

your husband is the sweetest man!

I was never hot, but after having a baby, I always feel like such a frump- oh well, the kid is worth it.

April 4, 2007 at 7:43 PM  
Blogger Emma in Canada said...

It's amazing how little we think of ourselves. Look at Frannie...she is gorgeous! i am sure the others are too, but hers is the only picture i have seen.

I am lucky enough that William doesn't seem to mind the pounds I have gained, the lack of make up and the occassionally unwashed hair! He would never say anything like that. Now other things? Like my disorganiztion? He's totally willing to comment on that.

April 4, 2007 at 11:52 PM  
Blogger Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

You have what is known as a Healthy and Growing Marriage.

You two are truly blessed.

April 5, 2007 at 9:49 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

What a sweet and honest husband you have!

I don't care what society thinks is hot. Most of the time, when I get dressed and ready to go out, I think I look good. And I wear a size 11! I'm not fat, I've got a little baby belly and my thighs are bigger than they used to be, but, shit, I'm 27 and I've had 2 kids, one of them just a year ago.

Chris still thinks I'm hot. He can't keep his hands off me, not matter how unsexy I think I look!

April 5, 2007 at 10:36 AM  
Blogger Dawn~a~Bon said...

My husband told me that men who complain about their wives' bodies after they have children are "assholes." He said, "How could you complain that your wife gained weight after she has your CHILD? Of course she's gonna gain weight."

Oh how I heart him. He told me I was pretty when I was a wee lite thing when we got married, he told me I was pretty when I gained 27 pounds ("It's normal to gain weight when you have a desk job, and as you get older. You don't need to lose weight unless you want to - you look great.") Now that I've started running and have lost weight, he compliments me on that. Half the time I come home in sweaty stinky running clothes and half the time I come home in my work clothes, which I immediately chuck to put on baggy-butt sweats and an old tank top. Am I the hot girl? Nahh, but I'm passibly cute when I want to be. But he likes me best in my "comfy" clothes, curled up next to him on the couch. Screw that pot-bellied pig who you overheard. I hope his "hot girl" significant other gets her groove back and then leaves his ugly ass for a nice guy like Scott or Jeff.

April 6, 2007 at 8:23 AM  

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